Have you ever felt like you're living and doing exactly what you're supposed to be living and doing?

I don't mean that your life is easy. I don't mean there is never any challenge or stress. I don't mean that everything is going your way.

I do mean that you feel perfectly content and at peace with where you're at, because you feel God placed you right there. Right now. "For such a time as this."

That's how I feel right now. It's an amazing feeling.

We really feel like every place we've lived (7 states, 9 zip codes/residences, 14 years), every church we've been a part of, every experience we've had.... has led us to right here where we are.

State 1: The start of us. The figuring out what we want, what our goals are, our foundation.

State 2: Our "church" here was at Jon's work. Jon worked with troubled and troubling youth in a residential setting. The facility had a church on campus - one of the most beautiful campuses and chapels I've ever experienced. It was here that we saw the authenticity of worship, the creativity of youth, and the pure joy and freedom experienced by those who have been extended grace. These kids are "the worst of the worst" according to society, many of whom commited terrible crimes. Yet they worshipped together, wrote the services, led the songs - every Sunday was so amazing. Grace abounds.

State 3: This is the first church where we I experienced a true "teaching" Pastor. He made the Bible come alive. I took copious notes each Sunday, bought sermon series on tape (yes, just dated myself -- cassette tape). I eagerly looked forward to each Sunday, to learning, to growing. He had an incredible gift for providing context to scripture, setting the history, and bringing it right back to the present. It was an incredible faith growing time for me.

State 4: We found our "family" at this church. Small group became an essential part of life. We'd participated in small groups before, but it really just felt like bible study versus a close personal relationship with them. Our small group this time around became our closest most trusted friends. It's now 7 years behind us, and they're still our closest friends and receive us as family with each visit. We knew that moving forward, small groups had to remain essential as we set up new homes.

State 5: We struggled in this state on many levels. It was a challenging and "dry" season in many ways. Despite that, it was also a time when I experienced immediate and obvious response to prayer over and over and over again. I was so grateful that God made Himself very obvious to me in a time that was full of doubt, loneliness, and challenges. As always, He proved Himself faithful. The lessons I learned about prayer during this time were invaluable.

State 6: This was our most trying state. Our most challenging time. It was full of stress, "wandering," loneliness. Yet we learned some very important things there, too. We will never again take for granted a strong church family. For 3 years, we church-hunted, but in the middle of the Bible belt, failed to find a church home. We were unable to find a small group. Our church life was lacking and it left a huge, sad hole in both of us. Despite that, what we experienced fully there was a new perspective on "the least of these." The non-profit world in that community was amazing. The community as a whole was very giving, charity-minded, and focused on serving. It broadened our perspective on how to serve, and convicted us even more strongly on the importance of not only our service, but also making that opportunity available to our kids.

State 7: Here we are now. Our sweet spot. As I've said before, we prayed about where we should go to church, and the church we were led to is pastored by a man who mentored under our pastor from State 3. Amazing. Historically we've visited churches where the pastor was good, but the worship or small groups were lacking. Or the small groups were consistent but the music was terrible and the pastor just mediocre. Or in some cases, the pastor wasn't right for us at all. We struggled to find a church where all the pieces fit together for us. Caveat to all of that -- we're a "consumer" society and too often we shop churches like we do groceries -- what can THEY do for ME instead asking how WE can serve THEM. But that's a completely different topic....

Anyway... so the pastor is awesome here. He's completely authentic. He speaks Truth. He teaches - provides the historical context of the Biblical passages and applies it to today. He's as imperfect as the rest of it and is amazed by the grace that we all receive. The messages always resonate. The music is seriously top-notch (very loud, too, but that's fine with us). The children's ministry is thriving. The small group network is alive and growing. And we're serving. Wow, the fire for serving here -- "the least of these" -- tutoring at an inner city school (we have 150+ tutors), extreme home makeovers and yard crashing takes place annually also in the inner city, building backpacks for an entire elementary school, filling stockings for an entire elementary school, festivals to outreach to the community. More important: a staff with a vision to spread the Gospel of Christ to the city. We've just scratched the surface, and the ideas just keep coming.

It's so incredible to be a part of the movement. The peace that comes from living in "the sweet spot" of where Christ would have us - a huge blessing.

My prayer is that my eyes, my heart, my ears remain open to the Word of the Lord so that I can move where He sends me. I kinda like it here... I'd like to stay. :)

Why are we always surprised when God shows up big?

We know He can.

We know He does.

For me, I think the surprise comes not from God showing up big, but because He has allowed me to witness it. The “big” moments I always attribute to someone else. I always seem to hear about them, but not experience them.

Lately, I’ve been so incredibly blessed to experience them.

We began attending our new church the weekend after we moved to our new city. It was an instant “fit” and we felt fortunate to find it. It was as if God was saying, “You’re going to have some challenges, but I’ll give you a church and you’ll feel My presence there. Know that I’m with you through it.”

Easter 2011 came shortly after we moved. The Easter service kicked off a “Be Audacious” series, speaking of having Audacious Faith – believing that God will do what He promises, trusting for Him to do amazing things. During that series, Pastor Paul spoke about our sphere of influence. At one service, he had us all write the names of people with whom we associate – family, friends, co-workers, students, baristas.  We each daily touch the lives of multiple people.

From that list, from that Sunday, our church of 500 came up with a list of 5400 people within our “Sphere of Influence.”

And that became our number: 5400.

It was announced that for Easter 2012, we would be renting out the biggest, most visible, most well-known park in the city. And we would be praying for the rest of the year for the 5400 people who would join us – after all, that is the quantity in our sphere of influence.

At the beginning of the Easter season, we were surprised to enter into a dark church – nothing on stage, no band – just a lone guitar and he was joined by an Easter Bunny…who happened to be our pastor! (Yikes!) The “Unexpected” series teaser was upon us.

That very day, 3 charter busses were waiting out back and the entire church loaded up the bus, watched a pre-recorded video sermon from the pastor, and we drove to the park where our Easter service would be held. That day we walked and prayed through the park, writing the names of those in our sphere of influence on pieces of bark scattered in the flower beds throughout the park.

Four weeks later was Easter. No one really knew what to expect. We had been praying for 5400, but would that become reality?

God showed up. Why were we surprised?

And of course, God being God, He had to show us that we could have believed for even more. Not only did 5400 people show up – over 5600 people showed up!

Unexpected.

That was the title of the series that kicked off on Easter Sunday. What an amazing thing to be a part of.

The "Unexpected" series concluded yesterday, Sunday, May 6, with the most powerful and amazing and mind-blowing service I’ve ever witnessed. I’m still absolutely in awe. I even broke out my least favorite word because it’s so overused. But it was very much appropriate to describe yesterday.

EPIC.

Yesterday morning was a top-secret, “unexpected” service. People came into church as they normally do, only the windows were black, so no one could sneak a peek.

Our church is pretty untraditional (but biblically spot on), and instead of a baptismal font, we have a huge swimming pool that we use for baptisms typically twice per year. Our baptisms are usually announced well in advance so people can prepare themselves, invite family and friends, bring a change of clothes, etc. We just had a baptism on Palm Sunday. No one was expecting to walk into church to see the baptismal pool.

Yet there it was.

Pastor Paul preached from Acts 8 about Phillip and the Ethiopian eunuch explaining the passage from Isaiah that he was reading. As their carriage rode through the desert, they came upon water, and in verse 36, the eunuch said to Phillip “Look, here is water. What can stand in the way of my being baptized?”

And with that, Pastor Paul jumped from the stage into the pool. Clothes and all.

He proceeded to remove all the barriers and excuses that people may have for why they shouldn’t get baptized that very moment:
- No change of dry clothes? Well no problem, we’ve got a shirt, shorts, and even undergarments for you to change into.
- Concerned about your hair? We’ve got combs, ponytail holders, detangler spray, and hairspray.
- Make up may run? Baby wipes are in each restroom and will clean you right up!
- No stink stop? Well we’ve even got spray on deodorant for you.

As Pastor Paul is explaining all of this during the first service, one man climbs the ladder and jumps in the pool – jeans, shirt, leather shoes and all. Even Pastor Paul was blown away! Another man followed that one – 2 people in their street clothes didn’t even wait for their change of clothes.

At the first service, 31 people “took the plunge,” publically declared their faith, and were baptized into Christ.

The church had planned for 40, so they had to make an emergency store run to restock supplies between services! What an incredible “problem” to have!

During the second service, 21 more people were “buried with him through baptism, and raised to live a new way of life through Jesus Christ.” -- 52 people in total.

Absolutely amazing, awesome, incredible, humbling, powerful, moving – amazing day!

Amazing God.

Wow.

What an insane past 5-6 months. In February I received a promotion. In March the kids and I moved. In April, May, and June, Jon commuted. In July, we finally closed on both houses - one to sell, the other to buy.

I will say with complete honesty, it has been some of the most excruciating 5 months of our lives. Neither of us have faced a string of challenges such as we faced during the relocation. Truth be told, everything is not yet resolved, but it's getting there. I won't detail everything that went wrong... but suffice it to say that literally everything went wrong.

Yet.... without question, without hesitation... God absolutely showed up.

And that gave me peace.

And that's what I *will* share.

I hear so many people tell me that God had a hand in their move -- He answered prayers to sell their house, find a house, find a job -- just smoothed the way for everything. I don't doubt that -- not one bit.

But.... what about when the way isn't smooth? What about when every little thing goes wrong. What if there's a battle waiting to be fought at every corner? Does that mean God's NOT in the move? Does it mean we're not acting in accordance with His will? I will say it's easy to let your mind wander down that path. And it's probably a good thing to ask Him -- to be sure that you really are on the path He intends.

My short answer: Just because you're in God's will doesn't mean He promises a smooth path.

Look at Job. I'm quite sure that book of the Bible was written to remind me during the past few months that God's there even in challenging times.

But here's the beautiful thing: despite the ridiculous challenges, God showed up in ways that were unquestionably Him, and undeniably assuring us we're going the right way; doing the right thing.

With every single move we've made -- and that includes 7 states now -- it has taken us a minimum of 6 months to find a church. Our last place we never did find one. Here... the first week.

When we lived in NY, we had a pastor who I just loved. I didn't even know the guy; it was a huge church. But for the first time, I couldn't wait to go to church on Sundays. He was a teaching pastor, and He made the word absolutely come alive, gave it context, helped me see it in ways and more deeply than I ever had. As we scoured websites looking for churches in our new city (I literally googled "church city" with our city inserted), I randomly came upon a site for a church who interviewed its staff and asked them various questions. One of the questions was "Who is your mentor."

I about fell off my chair when the lead pastor listed as his mentor... our pastor from NY. No way... half a country away.

We woke up that next morning and visited the church, shared with the pastor how we found it.... and we've been back every Sunday since. That was in March.

Not 2 weeks later... they changed their website. That survey and the reference to our pastor in NY is gone. If that's not God saying, "Hey guys, I know you need a place to plug in. I know you want desperately to find a good church, and that's what I want for you, too -- come over here."

In late May or early June, we finally found a house that we felt we could call home in a neighborhood we felt would be a wonderful place to raise our kids. A couple weeks later, Jon's sister called sharing that her husband has an overseas opportunity -- and can they come for Thanksgiving so that during the 6 months he's gone, they can all get together once to see each other.

The house we chose has a guest suite and living room over the garage. The house was never on the market -- our realtor just knew about it. We suggested that his sister and her 3 kids just live there for 6 months -- it's closer and hopefully they can see their daddy at least once a month.

God is a God of relationships. I very much believe that He worked out those details so that we can nurture our relationship with our extended family, and so that their precious family can maintain their relationship during a long 6 months.

Life isn't promised to be easy or without hurdles. The saying "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" I believe to be a bunch of bunk. During the past 6 months, I have been given more than I can handle more than I'd like to admit. But it's when I'm weak that His strength is shown -- not just to me but to those who see me. At least I hope it is. His grace covers me, covers my family.

God showed up bit in the "Faith" and "Family" category, which gave me peace through the turmoil. I'll admit to losing it a few times at the end. I did hit my breaking point. But God didn't. God is always faithful. We made it through to the end.

As I said, there are still a few loose ends that are frustratingly not yet tied up. There are several hundred boxes yet to be unpacked.

But...

Church friends from our new church have volunteered to help out with the kids.
We've got 5 happy and healthy kiddos giggling together, excited to have cousins to play with, love, and get to know in a way most cousins never do.
More people have stopped to say "welcome to the neighborhood" than the number of neighbors we had in our last place.
And last night when the kids wanted to swing out in the front yard... it took only a few minutes before 10 kids were out there playing.

Thank you, God.

It all started several months ago. Amara would wake frequently with bad dreams. We have a Veggie Tales book that says, "God is bigger than the boogie man," so I tried to use that as a reference.

I told her that God is bigger than the monsters in her dreams.

I told her that the monsters are afraid of God, and they're afraid of her, too.

I told her to tell those monsters to scram and leave her alone.

Oh... and I told her there's no such thing as monsters anyway. Why is it that line of logic never works?

Over the next few nights, weeks, and months, those comments turned to prayers. The prayers were for God to clear her head of all the bad and help her think of only good things, only pure things, only happy things.

And she slept.

On the night before his birthday, Dominic came sobbing into our room at about 3am. I asked him what was the matter. He cried, "Mommy, I need you to pray for me." I asked what for? He said, "For Jesus to take all the scary thoughts from my head."

My heart melted right there. I hugged my little guy close, stroked is soft fuzzy head, and prayed for the Lord of his heart to clear his mind to sleep soundly and peacefully.

With each prayer I offer with the kids, I follow it with one of my own, "Lord, please answer this prayer so that they can see You, so that they can feel You, so they can know You."

On the morning of his birthday, the two kids met in the hallway. Amara told Dominic she dreamed of his birthday and all the fun they'd have. Dominic responded, "Oh yeah, well Jesus gave me lots of great things to dream about."

Again my heart swelled. I whispered a prayer of thanks to Jesus for answering their prayer, for showing Himself to my children.

That relationship they have now. That tangibility that they feel. The conversations that they have with Jesus at the drop of a hat as if He's right next to them -- because He is.

Isaiah 11:6 "A little child shall lead them..."
Matthew 18:3 "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Mark 10:15) (Luke 18:17)
Matthew 18:4 "Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Mark 10:14) (Luke 18:16)

Is there any doubt how much Christ cares for His children? Before our children were born, we committed them back to the Lord. They are His children; we've been entrusted them. But they are His.

My prayer is that the relationship that they have with Jesus right now continues to grow. It is so strong right now, so real, so tangible, so innocent and pure. The part of me that knows the world knows that their faith will likely be shaken several times over throughout the course of their life. But the bigger part of my cries out to my Savior asking for their little hearts and minds to continue to be molded and shaped by Him and for Him. I pray that He gives me wisdom to lead them and to point to Him.

Acts 13:33 "that God has fulfilled this promise to our children in that He raised up Jesus, as it is also written in the second Psalm, 'YOU ARE MY SON; TODAY I HAVE BEGOTTEN YOU.'"

1 John 4:4 "You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world."

I feel as if I've talked in circles and not properly expressed how important these prayers, these overheard conversations, and God's responses have been to me. It's quite amazing and humbling to watch your child's faith literally bloom and develop before your eyes. I could feel myself choking up as I tried to explain it to my Mom, and even as I type, I feel the tightening of my throat.

At this point in my life, this is my most important purpose: to show them Christ. My prayer is that they know Him, love Him, and serve Him with all their heart, soul, and mind.

I'll close with the camp song I've recently been reintroduced to. When I was a camp counselor we closed every campfire with this song. I believe it was written by our director at the time, Layne Nelson. The words and melody were poignant then, but have since taken on a new and deeper meaning as I insert my children's names and pray it over them each night.

"May the Spirit of God descend upon this place. Keep us safe inside Your arms; fill us with Your grace. Put love deep within our hearts and peace within our souls. Guide us wherever we may go, for You are in control. Sing alleluia! Alleluia! And guide us wherever we may go so we may humbly serve You."

I’ve had this post rolling around in my head for about a month now. It’s probably time to get it out.

As a working Mom, I’m often considering what to involve my kids in – soccer, piano, birthday parties, etc. I want them to experience everything. I want them to have a full and rich childhood. I want them to discover and develop their passions. Yet I also know that I have precious few hours with them after work each day, and the weekends are very “protected” as family time. I simply can’t put them in everything I’d like to.

Several months ago, I was looking through facebook photos of my friends with my Mom. I was showing her how happy they were, what they were up to, trips they took, activities their kids were in. And I was lamenting the fact that “my kids haven’t done this,” or “we haven’t made time to do that.” Essentially, I was stacking my life against theirs and determining that I was doing it all wrong and I’d end up with miserable children.

She wisely pointed out that we were looking at snapshots. When people share snapshots of their life, they share the good parts, the memories, the treasures, the “golden moments.” To compare my life with only the good parts of someone else’s just simply isn’t fair or right. (Not to mention I probably shouldn’t be comparing my life anyway.)

But lately it really got me thinking about what “snapshots” I share with others. Through this blog, it’s not my intent to be transparent with my deepest thoughts, my biggest fears, my insecurities. I will be vulnerable, but only to the point I’m comfortable. Yet I know several other bloggers who are completely vulnerable and open with their blogs. I applaud them for that, even though I’m not willing to venture there myself.

I think that’s something that we as women and mothers struggle with (at least I hope that I’m not the only one). It’s so easy to compare ourselves to other’s snapshots. Why can't we sometimes put the "real" us out there (i.e. admit that there are dishes in the sink, laundry needing to be folded, toys scattered all over, and a frozen dinner instead of a homecooked meal) so that we don't feel alone in our chaos!?

Recently I saw a photo of a mom’s “messy” house. Messy by her standards. My house looks like that on its cleanest day! I probably spent the next hour lamenting my lack of neat freak tendencies.

Seriously.

I think the blog world has perpetuated what I consider to be a negative trait in women – of always comparing ourselves to each other and trying to hold ourselves to impossible standards. Don’t get me wrong – I love the blog world (I am, after all, a part of it, right?) – but I think it has also played into many of our insecurities. Who has the most “followers” in both Twitter and blogland? How many friends do we have in facebook? Who is going to the next blog conference? What blog-celebrity have you met there? What corporate sponsorship can you get for blogging?

Some of it literally makes me want to shut down my blog, cancel my facebook and Twitter accounts, and just melt completely into the REAL world and into virtual obscurity.

At the same time, I know that in doing so, I’d miss out on a lot of the rich friendships I’ve gained through Bloom and the blog world.

So Snapshots…

What does your snapshot say about you? Is it the “real” you or only the “happy” part of you? Or maybe only the “hurting” part of you?

God has made us to be beautifully complex… perfect in our weakness and imperfection. I challenge myself and each of you to compare yourself only to God’s snapshot. To live up to HIS standards. To live a life worth of HIS calling. To seek out HIS direction and purpose. To find passion in HIM.

And may our Snapshots also point to Him.

In the portion of “Same Kind of Different as Me” that I read last night, Denver was describing Miss Debbie as a shooting star. He talked about people who often burn brightly, but too suddenly disappear.

I smiled.

I have had a thing for stars for a long time.

Perhaps it stems from growing up in South Dakota, with its wide open skies, untainted by city lights, tall buildings, and pollutions. The stars in South Dakota somehow seem to shine more brightly, more frequently, and they seem to go on for ever.

Genesis 15:5 "Look up at the heavens and count the stars—if indeed you can count them."

I think it was during my first summer working at NeSoDak Bible Camp where my love for stars really hit me. Every week on the last night of camp, I took my cabin of girls out to the dock and we all laid on our backs and looked up at the stars, far too numerous to count. Inevitably, we would see falling stars, and we’d all gasp and point together. As we laid there on our backs in the beautiful summer night, I would share the following thoughts that I had gathered together about how stars are kind of like God.

Have you ever stopped to consider the stars? How often do you pause to look up?

Sometimes stars are burning so brightly, so brilliantly, that it almost seems like daylight. You stand in awe at their brilliance and gasp at their beauty.

Sometimes stars are hidden by clouds or bad weather.

Sometimes the tall city buildings and bright city lights overpower the stars – or seem to from our limited view from down here.

And sometimes we just plain forget to look up.

Did you notice that God is kind of like that?

Sometimes our walk with Him is so close, so intense, that the brightness is overwhelming. We see Him clearly. The vastness of His world is crisp and clear before you. You feel as if you could reach out and touch Him, and that you’re a part of His massive plan.

Sometimes we go through troubling times where clouds and storms are in abundance. It feels as if He’s left you. There’s little, if any, light shining through.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our life, and the glitz and glamour that it might offer. We’re enticed by “the shiny things” that fame and fortune and success might offer. We’re unable to see God, because we’re enamored by things of this world.

And sometimes we’re so caught up in living our little ol’ life that we simply forget to look Up and acknowledge why our life is so blessed in the first place.

Yet despite our attitudes, despite our situation, despite our attention or faithlessness – God, like the stars, is always there. He’s always shining brightly waiting for us to look up. He’s shining faithfully despite the clouds or bright lights that threaten to block Him from our view.

He’s always there.

We just need to look Up.

Jon's Aunt Val posted this, and I just had to share. May I remember Who needs the glory when I'm feeling disgruntled that no one is noticing what I do...

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously, not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. “The invisible Mom.”

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: “Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?” Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?” I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.” I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going; she’s going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.”

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: “To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.” In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.”

The workman replied, “Because God sees.”

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder – as one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My Mom gets up at 4:00 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “You’re going to love it there.”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

So I almost never go to You Tube, therefore I didn't realize it was even possible to make a playlist. However, I was tipped off to that yesterday... and I've had a bit of fun since then!

My family is coming for Christmas. We've disconnected our cable, so can't "listen" to that channel that plays music only. We don't have a radio that gets decent reception down in our valley. And we don't have a stereo of any sort hooked up (or working?), nor do we even have a CD player right now. Honestly... they're somewhere, just not sure where, nor do I think I want to unbury them.

Anyway, what we DO have is a computer and You Tube. So, I've been busy creating a playlist of some fabulous Christmas songs. Check out my playlist, then tell me what YOUR favorite is. A couple prerequisites: it must be on You Tube (duh!), and I'd prefer it be Christian, not secular. I have no problem with secular music, I just don't care much for the secular Christmas music. Never have.

So here's the link. Have a listen. Sing along. Then share with me songs you think should be added to my Christmas playlist!

CHRISTMAS PLAYLIST

We went to our local Christmas parade today.

Not knowing the exact route (should have checked), we positioned ourselves nearly at the end of the parade. By the time the line snaked its way to us, the walkers were weary, the waves weren't quite as spirited, the singing was quieter.... and the candy was nearly gone.

*Gasp* the horror -- no candy!

And for whatever reason... the kids immediately in front of our kids were getting all the candy that was being dispersed. Not just the candy tossed, but also the candy handed out. The paraders would come over to the side of the road, give the other kids their candy, then completely skip our kids. Even the other two children with us would get candy, and they'd skip A&D. Not sure why...

Anyway, Amara did get frustrated with it, completely not understanding why she was getting skipped. Frankly, neither did I.

I know it was more the hurt of being skipped than the candy though -- it was all nasty candy in the first place!

After being passed by for the um-teenth time, I said, "Amara, do we still have Halloween candy at home?" She answered, "Yes." I asked, "Do we still have a lot more Halloween candy at home that what they're throwing here?" She answered, "Yes."

And suddenly, all was right with the world.

Now each time she got passed by, she turned to me and said, "That's OK, we've got a TON of candy at home."

Don't get me wrong -- she still dove after every starlight mint that came her way (gag), but she was OK with not getting their first.

Why is it that my heart hurts so bad to see my kids getting passed over for something as frivolous as candy I don't even like (nor do they)? And how much can I learn myself from my daughter's lesson in perspective? Why do I need "more" of any material thing when I've already got plenty at home?

In fact... because of Jesus Christ, I have everything I could ever want.

John 3:30 "He must become greater. I must become less."

I’m so excited about the Advent Calendar the kids and I have been working on. I grew up with an Advent Calendar as a part of our Christmas celebration. We eagerly opened each door to find the candy behind it. We’d read the Advent devotionals, light the advent wreath/candles each Sunday, excitedly anticipating Christmas Day and Jesus Birth.

This year I wanted to find a way to combine all of those traditions and point to the Savior each day. I didn’t care so much about the chocolate – I wanted something else to be “hidden” behind each door. I wanted the kids to seek Jesus. He is, after all, the reason for the season.

So this is the result of my quest to create the “perfect” Advent calendar. I hope you enjoy it! And I’d LOVE to hear about your Advent traditions.

To create the “scene” for my Advent calendar, I purchased a miniature Christmas tree (or will purchase one).

Under the Christmas tree, I placed 25 folded paper boxes (directions for how to make these are listed below). I numbered each box 1 through 25. So box 1 would be open on December 1st, and so on. Now I do realize that Advent traditionally begins on the 4th Sunday before Christmas, but for simplicity sake, and so that we can reuse this from year to year, we’re doing it 25 days of December.

Within each box is a phrase, a Bible verse, and a symbol. I put the phrase and Bible verse for each day on the inside of the box top (i.e. Day 1 says, “We anticipate Jesus birth, just as they did many years ago.” The Bible verse, “Isaiah 11:1 Psalm 27:14” will immediately follow it.) I’m only putting the Bible verse reference on the box top – my purpose, especially as the kids grow up, is to have them look up and read each verse.

Within the inside of the box on the bottom is what the symbol for the day is (i.e. Day 1 says, “Branch.”) This reference corresponds to the symbol that will be inside. The symbol will be in the form of an ornament, which will be hung on the tree. For right now, I used clip art to make all the symbols. I cut them out in circles, laminated them, punched holes, and they will be ornaments. Moving forward, the kids and I will be on an ornament quest to find all of the proper symbols for each day in miniature to be made into an ornament.

Beginning on Day 18, we’ll build a Nativity Scene in front of the tree. So rather than ornaments, I’ll find a miniature nativity and put one piece in each box. The culmination, of course, will be Baby Jesus lying in a manger on Christmas Day.

I’m very eager to begin this tradition with my kids! We’re building and stuffing the boxes over Thanksgiving weekend. I welcome you to join me in this quest to point your children towards Jesus. Below I’ve listed each day, the phrase, the Bible verse, and the symbol. I’ve also included pictorial step-by-step directions for how to make the paper boxes. Please let me know if you decide to join me!


DAY 1: We anticipate Jesus’ birth, just as they did many years ago.
Isaiah 11:1 - A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Symbol: Branch

DAY 2: The Bible teaches us about God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
John 1:1-2 - In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 - All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Symbol: Bible

DAY 3: Jesus came because we are sinners.
Genesis 3:6-7 - When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
1Timothy 1:15 - Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.
Symbol: Apple

DAY 4: Jesus paid the price for our sins.
Romans 5:8 - But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Hebrews 12:2 - Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Symbol: Cross

DAY 5: Jesus came because God loves us.
John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Symbol: Heart

DAY 6: Because of Jesus, we can have eternal life.
John 3:36 - He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.
Symbol: Ring (eternal)

DAY 7: Jesus came so that we could join God’s family.
John 1:12 - But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.
Symbol: Family Photo

DAY 8: Our joy comes from the Lord.
Psalm 126:3 - The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Psalm 16:11 - You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Symbol: JOY Ornament

DAY 9: Jesus wanted to show us the way to the Father.
John 14:6-7 - Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."
Symbol: Compass

DAY 10: He is the Alpha and the Omega.
Revelation 1:8 - I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God," who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty."
Revelation 21:6 - And He said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts.
Revelation 22:13 - I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.
Symbol: Alpha and Omega Ornament

DAY 11: He is the Lamb of God.
John 1:36 - When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, "Look, the Lamb of God!"
Symbol: Lamb

DAY 12: He is the Door.
John 10:9 - I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.
Symbol: Door

DAY 13: He is the Good Shepherd.
John 10:14-15 - I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.
Symbol: Candy Cane

DAY 14: He is the Light of the World.
John 8:12 - When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
Symbol: Candle

DAY 15: He is the Bread of Life.
John 6:35 - Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.
John 6:51 - I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world."
Symbol: Bread

DAY 16: He is the King of Kings.
Revelation 19:16 - On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
Symbol: Crown

DAY 17: Jesus Christ is the greatest gift.
Romans 6:23 - For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift is from above.
2 Corinthians 9:15 - Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!
Symbol: Present

DAY 18: Jesus was born in a humble stable. (Begin to set Nativity Scene.)
Luke 2:12 - This will be a sign to you: “You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Symbol: Manger

DAY 19: Angels told the good news that the Savior was born.
Luke 2:8-14 - And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
Symbol: Angel

DAY 20: Shepherds came to worship Jesus.
Luke 2:15-20 - When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about." So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
Symbol: Shepherds

DAY 21: A star lit the way to Jesus.
Matthew 2:9-10 - The star which they had seen in the East went before them, till it came and stood over where the young Child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy.
Symbol: Star

DAY 22: Wise men came to worship Jesus.
Matthew 2:11 - And when they had come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshiped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Symbol: Wise Men

DAY 23: Jesus’ mother was Mary.
Isaiah 7:14 - Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.
Luke 1:30-33 - The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name JESUS. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”
Symbol: Mary

DAY 24: Mary was to be married to Joseph.
Matthew 1:20-23 - An angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us.
Symbol: Joseph

DAY 25: Jesus, the Savior, is born!
Isaiah 9:6 - For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Revelation 22:16 - I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.
Symbol: Baby Jesus

My baby boy is growing up.

Three years ago today, this is what we saw:

Three years ago today, my precious son was brought into the world and completed our family.

Three years ago today, I was a rush of emotions: elated at the birth of my son, scared silly because of all the unexpected medical issues that came up (jaundice, low blood levels (I now forget what), difficulty breathing). In hindsight, I think he was just hungry and wish I could have put that together then. But then -- June 24 was one of the hardest days of my life. Mercifully, everything was just fine, despite the early scare.

We chose to name him Dominic because (1) we love the name, and (2) it means "Belonging to God." We acknowledge from the start that are children are truly God's children and are only on loan to us. We gave our children back to God from the second we knew them -- and trust that He will lead us as we help to steer them through this life. My mother in law said, during the turbulent hours after Dominic's birth, that God's honoring his little name sake, proving that Dominic does in fact belong to Him, and that He'd take care of him. In another ironic twist, the blanket that she crocheted for Dominic was made from a pattern called "Angel's Wings." He simply calls it his "rainbow blanket" -- but sleeps with it every night. God certainly sent his angels to watch over Dominic in the first days of his life.

Dominic James came into this world a whirlwind, and has been one ever since! He's the cutest, most charming, most perfect whirlwind you'll ever meet. He's a little light that shines for all, and draws everyone to him.



So what's he up to now that he's three? Well, he's about 38 pounds, about 3 feet tall (guess I need to go to the doc to get exact measures). He's in size 9 shoes and size 4T clothes. He's day potty trained and dry most mornings. He's got an over-full vocabulary which he loves to use as often as possible (in other words, he's never quiet). He loves to read, do puzzles (which he's quite good at), play baseball, play with cars and trains. He's about as stereotypical "all boy" as you can get. At the same time, he's a little snuggler; more than willing to share hugs and kisses. He loves to laugh, and loves it even more if he can make you laugh. We joke that he's his Great Grandpa Richard reincarnate. The stories about Grandpa tell of a man who always has a mischevious twinkle in his eye. He'll "do something wrong" but do it with a grin and get out of trouble every time. He's completely endearing and knows how to work his way out of whatever mess he's gotten himself into.

My precious boy, I'm so thankful that God gave you to me. Happy Third Birthday! You are pure joy!

This is what I was watching:

It was June 12, 1998. It was Game 5 of the 1998 NBA Finals. The Chicago Bulls (with Jordan, Pippen, Rodman were playing against the Utah Jazz (Karl Malone, John Stockton, etc). I honestly don't remember who I was cheering for. Probably the Jazz. I was anti-Bulls and anti-Jordan. Not because he wasn't arguably the best basketball player we'd ever see, but because everyone loved MJ. And that was just my M.O. (still is) -- to go against the grain.

In hindsight, man.... what a decade to live through.... being able to watch Jordan play on any given night. A treat, I tell you!



If memory serves, Jordan retired after that season (well, in January of 1999). So we really got to watch him.... 11 years ago today.... at the peak of his career. Not in person, mind you... but on TV. I will say that when he came back out of retirement and played for the Wizards, Jon and I were able to watch him play against the Sixers in Philly. Now that was awesome! Sure, he wasn't at his prime -- but he was still just AMAZING to watch.

So why the basketball diary?

Well... because the REAL thing that was going on 11 years ago today (not that the basketball finals weren't real).... is this...



Jon and I were a day away from being married. We were at our wedding rehearsal. We were hanging out with those people who were (and are) most important to us in our lives. Our parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, many of our Cousins, our best friends. We were about to embark on the first day of the rest of our lives.

Jon, Brian, Bridget, Tara and I stayed late at the Lantern, where we had just set up for the reception. We stayed to watch the game -- Game 5 of the NBA Finals -- the game mentioned above. The one game I actually remember who was playing (Bulls and Jazz), who won (Jazz that game, Bulls the series), where I was sitting (in the lounge area of the Lantern), who I was with (already mentioned). It's just one of those "frozen in time" moments in my life. I remember Brian sneaking the M&M's from the tables we had just decorated into his pants pockets. I remember talking and laughing. I remember the feeling of hope and excitement about the life that Jon and I were about to begin together.

And here I sit -- 11 years later. I'm SO THANKFUL that God has blessed me with Jon... with our family... with our life together. I look at all that has changed in the last 11 years. I think about the dinner we're going to tonight to celebrate our anniversary -- not an intimate candlelight dinner -- but a feiry Japanese Steakhouse that will be fun for the kids to experience, but slightly more fancy than our normal fare.

And I still hold onto that hope and excitement about the life that Jon and I HAVE together. I love living my life with my husband and our family. I'm blessed more than I deserve to be blessed on a daily basis. I'm grateful for the life I've been given.


"For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God." - Ruth 1:16

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” - Ephesians 5:31

"I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion." - Hosea 2:19

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Saturday night we were on our way home from a day of parties. Jon had gotten back into his truck, which we left parked at the birthday party location. I was driving the kids home in the van. As I came to a stop, I heard an awful grinding sound. I turned off the radio, listened again -- it was still there. I'm sure Jon thought I was nuts, riding my brakes the way I was.

As we pulled into the driveway, I got down on my hands and knees, sniffed around (literally, because there was a funny smell), and tried to diagnose the problem. This is funny, considering I know nothing about cars... except that they're not supposed to sound the way mine did.

Sunday morning, we piled into the van to leave for church. I told Jon not to turn on the radio, so that he could hear the noise, too. We got to the top of the hill and there was the noise. He looked at me, said, "We're not taking this thing anywhere!" and turned back down the hill to take his truck instead.

This morning, I was a chicken when it came to driving. I sent the kids with Jon, because I didn't trust my vehicle. I called the service center, who came and picked it up for diagnostics.

They just called:
- Front right brake is metal on metal
- Front rotors need replacing
- 3-5 days to get parts in

They told me they could bring it back to my office, but only if I promised not to drive it and only to get my belongings out of it! Yikes! I told them I didn't need my belongings that badly and Jon will pick me up from work.

Like I said... Sometimes it's the Little Things... and Praise God that He's in them! That "little thing" could have become a "big thing" if He wasn't.

Random...
That pretty accurately describes me most of the time! So welcome to my world. That (i.e. random) will be the theme of this post. There's lots of things I wanted to share -- probably would be worthy of individual blog posts, but I'm too lazy to do that. So hop on my wavelength and consider yourself randomized! :)

The Boob Fund
Ha! That feels weird to even write! However, it's completely serious, and I want you to check it out. My friend, Hugh (aka Dude to Dad) is raising money for Breast Cancer as a gift for his wife's (Amy) first Mother's Day. You see, his Mother-in-Law discovered she had breast cancer while she was pregnant with Amy. She died the day after Mother's Day in 1980. Hugh and Amy's daughter is named after Amy's mother. What a beautiful way to celebrate and honor a life -- and what a touching Mother's Day gift. Please go check out http://www.theboobfund.com/ and donate if you're able. You can watch the video and laugh and cry, just as I did.

So... now for pics from this weekend. I already shared pics from the Komen race we attended on Saturday. On Sunday morning... oh yeah, that was my other random thought...

We went to church, and the pastor spoke on the Church of Thessolaniaca (I'm sure I completely messed up that spelling). He talked about their misunderstanding of the time in which they were -- they believed they were in "The Coming of the Lord" and past the rapture. I'm not going to summarize the sermon, because I'm sure I won't do it justice. But it was one of the better sermons we've heard. Anyway, he went on to talk about the Rapture and how all Christians being taken up would leave the earth void of the Holy Spirit (because the Holy Spirit indwells all believers). Then he used a great quote from C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" illustrating non-believers who choose to believe in the Lord once He's plainly visible. It's the quote that just really stuck with me and that I wanted to share:

"God is going to invade this earth in force. But what is the good of saying you are on His side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream, and something else -- something it never entered your head to conceive -- comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us, and so terrible to others, that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will be God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike either irresistible love or irresistible horror into every creature.

It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you choose to lie down when it has become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing; it will be the time when we discover which side we have really chosen, whether we realized it before or not. Now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back, to give us that chance. It will not last forever. We must take it or leave it.." ~ C. S. Lewis "Mere Christianity"

I just thought it was SO powerful -- it's easy to put off believing and having faith when Jesus Christ isn't right there in your face saying, "here I am -- believe!"

Anyway... on to my next random and how we spent the rest of Saturday. It was spent here (or at least part of the afternoon following naps):

I had seen this park a few times as I drove past it, and thought it would be a fun new place to explore with the kids. And it was. Except it was sand. And we were intending to go out to eat when we finished at the park. And we weren't intending to go home first to clean up. Read: MESSY!

So, we instilled a "no touching the sand" rule. Yeah, that was successful! (please hear the sarcasm dripping).

Actually, it was pretty successful for Amara. She kept looking longingly at the teens building sand castles. Then she'd look up at me and say, "Look mommy, I'm not touching the sand. I'm building a giant sand castle with my feet." They didn't really play on the equipment at all -- they longed for the sand.






Dominic, on the other hand, not so good at the no hands in the sand rule. He plopped right down next to the teen girl building the castle and asked if he could join her (hey -- at least he asked!). She looked hesitatingly at me, and I granted permission for him to hold the cup and tip the sand castle into place. It was semi-clean. Of course, then he immediately took his hand and smashed the castle to the ground so he could rebuild it. Not so clean!

Now if you don't know me well, it's imperative that you understand that I AM NOT A NEAT FREAK. I truly love few things more than just getting totally sloppy dirty in the mud, sand, or whatever. I loved playing in sandboxes as a kid. The biggest challenge we faced on Sunday was the desire to go to a restaurant without first driving home. Wet wipes and restaurant bathrooms can only accomplish so much. Jon, on the other hand, is much more of a neat person. He's the only person I know who can sit down to a 4-hour crab-picking meal (think Baltimore Blue Crab covered in Old Bay) and come out of the event with not only clean hands and arms, but also a clean glass. Me -- I'm covered in the stuff!

So I expressed to Jon how much I used to love playing in the sand and that I wanted the kids to experience that, too. Jon said, "I used to love playing in the sand, too... until one of my friends got worms from it."

My instant response: "OK, kids, let's go to the restaurant." We'll find a new park next time! EW!!!

On the remodeling front, here's the photo of our Sunday efforts:

I do realize that the photo doesn't look much different from the most recent photo. However, the differences are significant -- about 3 hours worth significant! From the old photos, you'll see that the top left cabinet was filled with grey fluff -- that grey fluff was insulation. We removed all of that into a black plastic garbage bag to be returned to the attic. The other thing you'll notice about the earlier pictures is that there was a frame work of 2x4 studs and a sheet of wallboard framing off the area above the cabinets that used to be the soffit. Additionally, there was a frame around the door. Removing all of these pieces of wood and framework was a very tedious and challenging project. Not only did they continue in the immaculate design by the carpenter, but also their location and tight spaces made it very hard to maneuver the hammer and pry bar. And the nails were HUGE nails and at angles opposite each other to provide strength -- all making it challenging to remove them!

But we did! (or Jon did). Yay us! (Yay Jon!) :)

This week may be challenging to get time for renovation work. Monday night I started a new Bible Study called "Lord, Change My Attitude." I'll admit, it speaks directly to me. The first chapter last night was on complaining. Yep -- totally convicted me. Why is it that when I'm at a loss for what to say I can't settle for silence, and must instead complain about something (it's so hot, I'm so tired, etc., etc., etc.). As if people need to know a play by play of the negative things in my life. The convicting thought was this: our complaints of the few little things in our life that are "wrong" are a direct slap in the face to God, who has given us bountiful blessings. Why can't we focus on them instead and trust that God will get us through the "small annoyances." And if we choose to focus on the good things, and choose a positive reaction to the "bad" things -- how much more joy filled will our lives be!

Yep, it was a brick upside the head night last night. Stop complaning girl!

OK, I'm off my randomness now. Out of topics for today. At least I mixed it up with some pictures. :)

Off and on this week, Amara has just randomly broken out sobbing, "But I don't WANT Him to die on the cross...."

While part of my heart shouts a HUGE Halleluia that my baby girl is learning about Jesus (and trust me, I can't write the word HUGE large enough, because truly, that's my most fervent prayer for both kids -- that they learn to love the Lord and give their lives completely to Him), the other part of my heart cries out to that same Lord saying, "Please give me the words to make it real for her."

How do you explain to a 4-year-old that Jesus HAD to die?

How do you explain to a 4-year-old that it's because of OUR sins -- hers, mine, Daddy's, all of us -- that Jesus went to the cross to sacrifice His life for ours?

How do you explain to a 4-year-old that it's God's plan?

How do you explain to a 4-year-old that hundreds of years ago, we followed the Old Testament Law, and animals were given as sacrifices...but now, the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ paid it all, so that we no longer are under the law, but are under His grace?

How do you explain to a 4-year-old that the gift of Jesus Christ is a free gift for us all to reach out our hands and accept?

How do you explain to a 4-year-old that Jesus's death on the cross is the single most important and significant event in history. Check that -- that his RESURRECTION is the single most important and significant event and MIRACLE in history!

How do you explain to a 4-year-old something that I, as an adult and life-long believer, can't even put into words, because it's just that amazing and humbling and awesome and powerful and emotional?

My feeble attempt went something like this:
"I know you don't want Jesus to die, baby, but it already happened. Many years ago. But you know what the cool thing is? (They love the words "cool" and "not cool" right now.) The cool thing is: He didn't stay dead! And He's the ONLY one who can say that, because He's Jesus, and that's what makes Him so special. He had to die so that we could all live. He died for us, because He loves us that much, and He wants to be with us forever."

Oh that God would give me all the right words to make His life and His presence so real and so important for the kids. Truly, that responsibility brings tears to my eyes (yes, I'm at work misty right now). There is absolutely nothing more important that making sure they get that message. Nothing.

How do you explain to a 4-year-old why Easter is so important? I've not yet figured it all out. But I trust that God will lead me. And my first attempt at it has resulted in no more sobs. So next year I'll have to ask how to explain it to a 5-year-old. And through it all, I'll be SO VERY GRATEFUL that she wants to know!

You know... there are just some periods in life when things are at such a frantic pace that you feel you've been left in the dust and are spinning on your tail.

Don't get me wrong, things are fine. But wow -- this past couple weeks held a pace that I'd like NOT to keep up moving forward. I think that tends to be the nature of life in my new position. And I'm grateful for the position and the opportunities it's providing. But I'm pretty sure I've aged 10 years in the last year.

I have to share my weekend. I was sent away for work to set up a conference. I travelled with 3 colleagues. Only I didn't exactly travel WITH them. Being the stubborn person that I am, I chose to fly out at 5:50pm AFTER our basketball game. They flew out at around noon, with the ETA of about 5:00pm. My first flight was delayed 45 minutes -- which annoyed me until I arrived at my final destination on time. Then I learned that my colleagues had only arrived 2 hours before me -- instead of the 7 hours they were SUPPOSED to have arrived before me. They had a nightmare day of delayed flights, missed flights, etc. I only had the inconvenice (and my seat mate the misfortune) of not having time to shower after my basketball game. HA HA! I'm still laughing at that! :) As Jon would say, "I smell like roses."

THEN.... on the return flight on Sunday....
We arrived at the show Sunday morning to continue our set up. They got a phone call from the airline saying BOTH their flights were cancelled, and they were rebooked on the 6:30PM flight on Monday. Yes -- over 24 hours later. My flights... all on time. I had chosen to fly through Dallas, while their flights took them through Atlanta. In short, their flights took them straight through all the crazy thunderstorms, tornadoes, and other weather that hit the southeast last weekend. My route took me south of it all. Even when my last flight was delayed an hour, my new perspective allowed me to not get annoyed, and instead just be thankful that I could still kiss my kids when I got home that night. Yes, it was midnight. But I was home.

Sometimes it's nice to get a different perspective. I think it's important to hold that perspective and keep a positive outlook. It's very easy for me to get drug down by the chaos and frantic pace. When I allow myself to do that, I get a singular focus on "just getting through" and my perspective on the rest of life is completely lost. Another way of putting it: I look OUT, but forget to look UP.

Because at the end of the day, the right perspective is going to come from UP.

"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3

Are there any of us out there?

Or am I the only one?

Sometimes I feel as if I am...

Have you ever done a google search (or any search for that matter) for resources for Christian Working Moms on the internet? Try it. There's not much out there. Or there's Work at Home resources. Or there's maybe how to get a job resources.

I think it's maybe because people like us have NO TIME to create resources for others like us, and therefore, there are none. Not that I have the time to do so... but maybe I should!

We moved to our current area about a year ago. We visited pretty much every church in the area that we felt we could really plug into. We found lots of churches with great things to offer -- but it seemed like all of the great things were found in various different churches -- one church had great music, but a weak children's program, and mediocre message. One church had a great message, but the music was horrible and there were very few kids. You get the point....

We had been attending a church for about 6 months (great music (i.e. LOUD and current), engaging pastor, but only a decent message, a virtually non-existant kids' program, and an inconsistent small group structure. The small group structure and the kids program (or lack thereof) was really beginning to eat away at me. I was actually beginning to feel depressed and despairing about our church situation. It's like my "center" was missing, and everything in life was incomplete as a result of that.

Jon was able to connect through softball, but all the games were too late for me to take the kids -- so I never really met any of the other wives. Nevermind that all the wives also had no kids. And those who did, were stay at home moms. I just didn't feel like there was any one "like me" in that church and I was feeling a bit desperate that I'd never fit in or feel at home.

So we started going to another church about 5 weeks ago. I immediately joined the ladies Bible Study -- which amazingly includes 7 generations of women! Certainly they're not all "like me" -- but I appreciate drawing on the wealth of knowledge and experience represented by all those generations. We've also been going to a Sunday School class with people in our age group. However, as Jon pointed out to me yesterday... all the women are stay at home moms.

Sigh.

Why is that? Is it the type of churches that we attend that there are just a larger percentage of women who choose to stay at home? (Probably so.) How come there are so few working Christian women who are more than just Christian in definition -- who really want to grow and learn and study and seek God.

If you're out there -- let me know!!!

This morning in church, the pastor addressed a question one hears often: How will you be remembered when you're gone? It wasn't in those exact words, but that was the gist of it. Or perhaps, that question has been weighing on my own mind, so therefore it was the most dominating theme of the sermon to me.

The other night as I was surfing, I ran across a blog (of course I don't remember where it was now) where the mother was saying she wants to be careful to balance correction/direction with praise. It really hit me squarely between the eyes.

As a working mother, I feel completely tapped at the end of the day. I feel like I spend a good share of my time "failing" all those I care most about by settling for "good enough." And there are certainly times that I feel like I spend more time correcting the kids than telling them just how awesome I think that they are and how much I love them. I'm thankful that kids are resilient and that my kiddos love me despite these faults. However, the combination of that blog post and this morning's sermon really impacted me.

So what will I do different? I'm not sure yet. At this point, I'm not sure just how I'll be remembered -- my family will miss me, as will my friends (I hope!), but beyond that, I've really not reached out to make an impact outside of my little world. While I do realize that my biggest legacy will be left in my children, and in my goal to raise them in to Godly people who love and serve God with all their hearts, I also know that there is more that I can and should be doing to serve those in the community around me.

One of Jon's biggest pet peeves has always been that the church (generally speaking) seems to be more focused on global missions (which are absolutely necessary, worthy, etc., -- we're not knocking missions in the least) instead of local outreach. It's typically much harder to raise funds to do an inner city mission than it is to go to China. Yet are these people in the inner cities of the US any less deserving of the message of the gift of Jesus Christ?

Jon's comment this morning is that many church's idea of reaching out to the local community includes hosting an event with universal appeal and sharing the gospel at the event. Sure, these events are great, often people are led to Christ, but the outreach requires that "they" come to "us" -- we need to meet them where they are. Live and work and toil alongside them, get to know them, respect them. Our opinion is that only at that point, will those who don't know Christ or don't see themselves as worthy, be willing to listen to us. If our actions and words don't jive, our words won't amount to a hill of beans in their minds.

So I guess that's one thing that I want to be remembered for -- that my actions are the prelude to my testimony. But I know that I've got a long ways to go in that, too, because actions alone will only make me "a good person" -- they must join my words to point to Christ.

I don't know... there's still a lot of thinking that must come out of all of this. But when two such common themes join like they have in the last couple days, my ears perk up, because I know God is talking to me. And I pray that He finds me obedient to His call.