I had two prevailing thoughts while reading chapter three:

1. I’m so very thankful for my father and for the Godly example he placed in my life.


2. Having children has enlightened me to a new side of God as Father than I’ve ever understood before.

For these gifts in my life, I’m grateful. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)

On page 52, Chan speaks of his relationship with his father, and how his relationship with God was largely impacted by his relationship with his father. I think that’s true with many people – if not most. I was fortunate to have not only a wonderful father, but a legacy full of Christian men and women who strove always to point their family and others around them to God. Jon’s family is very much the same way. We call it our “Legacy of Love” and our intent is to provide that same Christian legacy for our children.

Through my father, as well as my mother, grandparents, and now through Jon’s parents and family as well, I am able to see God’s love and mercy reflected. “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12) I’ve been so uplifted, encouraged, and filled by the reflection of God I’ve seen through my parents and family – imagine how much more love and mercy God in His perfection provides!

After describing his relationship with his father, on page 53 Chan goes into a description of the love he came to know as a parent once he had children. He concludes the illustration of his love for his children by saying, “I am just an earthly, sinful father, and I love my kids so much it hurts. How could I not trust a heavenly, perfect Father who loves me infinitely more than I will ever love my kids.” (pg 53)

I found myself asking the questions: Do we show God the same enthusiasm our kids show us as we return home from work? Running to us eagerly, throwing themselves on us for hugs and kisses? Is God as excited to see us as we are to see our kids? Do our faces shine towards God with the same love and admiration that our kids shine on us? Is God heart-sick with missing His kids when they’re apart?

We’re told that we’ve been created in God’s image: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27). That being the case, my conclusion is a resounding YES! God IS as excited to see us as we are to see our kids – and probably even more. And God IS heart-sick with missing His kids when we are not close to him – even more so than our feelings towards our children. I think it’s beautiful how He’s given us little glimpses of Himself – in illustrative points that we can grasp with our minds. I’m not God, therefore I’ll never understand Him perfectly – but I am a parent, and I understand deeply how much I love my kids. And the love is an astounding love – one that I knew would be great, but never imagined just how powerful until my first little bundle was placed in my arms. It’s indescribable…yet a perfect illustration of God’s love for me.

During the past few weeks I’ve been reading both “Crazy Love” and “Seeking Him,” the latter being a Bible Study I’m doing at church on Monday nights. There are two very similar statements made in both books – both of which I really struggled to grasp.

Crazy Love, page 55 (speaking of his decision to spend a few days alone with God in the woods): “Before I left, a friend prayed, ‘God, I know how You’ve wanted this time with Francis…’ Though I didn’t say anything at the time, I secretly thought it was a heretical way to pray and that he was wrong to phrase it that way. I was going to the woods because I wanted more of God. But He’s God; He certainly wouldn’t want more of me! It seemed demeaning to think that God could long for a human being.”

Seeking Him, page 9: “That very desire [for God] is God-initiated. He wants you back! Why? Because He loves you and knows you cannot experience all He has for you in your present condition.” (ref. Hosea 11, Hosea 14)

Repetition is a good way for God to break through my cobwebs and make a point. The point that my desire for God was something that HE gave me was new to me. And hard for me to grasp. I always thought it was me who had to decide to turn to Him. And while it is something I need to do (we do, afterall, have free will), the desire to turn to Him comes from Him.

I tend to be a self-deprecating person, and the whole “It’s not about me” thought is something I can very easily grasp, but also take that idea to extremes. While it’s NOT all about me, and it IS all about God, that doesn’t mean I’m not important. It doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love me. Quite the opposite. I’m so important to God (as are all of you), that He has called us to be His inheritance (Eph 1:18). That’s just not a blessing you give to someone you don’t love!

Once again, I turned to my relationship with my children as a way to help me grasp this point. Again, I was thankful to God for giving me a way to understand in some concrete way just how much He loves me.

Before having kids, Jon and I talked often about how we wanted to make sure that our kids don’t believe that the world revolves around them (they still do, they are human after all). We talked about not giving them everything they want, not changing our lives completely to accommodate theirs, setting rules, setting boundaries, disciplining them – you know – all those things that make us “mean parents” (or one day will). Yet, despite all these “restrictions” we put on our children, they’re absolutely the most important things in our lives (after God and each other, of course). Our restrictions are in place BECAUSE we love them, BECAUSE we want the best for them, BECAUSE they’re so incredibly important…yet, it’s NOT all about them. That comparison literally hit me today – and it was like a light opened up and I went, “Oh yeah! I get it now! Thank you God!” Humbling.

Not only does God love us know, but he knew us before we were born. We were planned. We’re here for a purpose; we’re here for God’s purpose. Jeremiah 1:5 is such a familiar verse, but a much loved one as well, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.”

Wouldn’t you know, I have a story to go with that as well.

When I was ready for college, my parents gave me the savings bonds they’d been collecting throughout my life. Every birthday and every Christmas, I was given a savings bond by my parents and my Grandparents (they alternated – one had birthday and one had Christmas). Growing up, I’d open them, gush thanks pretending I knew just how valuable they were, then move onto the presents containing toys or the things that I really wanted. (Oh what an example that is, too – who knows what’s best for us?)

On the brink of adulthood, I fingered through all the savings bonds my parents had held for me all those years. I got to the first and earliest one. It was dated September 1975. I was born in October. I remember blinking back tears as I discovered that bond dated just a month before my arrival. I remember feeling so loved, so cherished, so wanted. And that’s how my earthly parents made me feel – imagine just how much longer my heavenly Father planned for my arrival, and how much he loves, cherishes, and wants me.

I’ll close with the verse I shared above: “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12). I’m SO thankful for the beautiful reflection of God I’ve been shown throughout my life. So very grateful. I pray that I can reflect God in the same way to my children as I was blessed to see Him throughout my life. And I’m SO thankful that one day I’ll know fully just how great and wonderful God’s love is for me.

I discovered a new photography blog.



I absolutely LOVE photographs, love photo-editing, love digital scrapbooking... but am terrible at photo-editing. I simply don't have patience for it. However, since most of my best photos were simply "luck of the shoot," I must improve my photo-editing skills. Hopefully I'll learn a thing or two (or twenty) from some people who simply are AMAZING.

In the meantime... today's theme is BLUE. I took this photo in 2007. Amara's eyes were strikingly blue for the first couple years of her life. Slowly they've turned more green. Now they're this crazy shade of aqua that can appear blue or green depending upon what she's wearing or whether or not she's crying. It's fun to have a photo of when they were so blue (OK, so blowing out the photo did make them bluer than they really were). Perhaps another theme can be GREEN, in which case, I'll have to recapture this photo with her newly shaded eyes.

Jon's been out of town this week, so the kiddos and I have just been hangin' at home. At ages 3 and 5, they're both at just such FUN stages of their life. They're full of giggles, personality, creativity, thoughts, ideas, curiousity. Everything is new and exciting for them. And because Jon's out of town, we've ended up with slumber parties in Mommy's bed -- or at least last night we did. I'm sure I'll pay for that decision tonight, when I won't allow it. But for last night, it was nice.

Having my little snuggle bugs nestle close to me just sent me back in time to when they were tiny and so dependent upon me. I won't lie -- I'm not a baby person, and much prefer the stage they're in right now to infancy. However, there's a certain magic to infancy as well; to total dependence upon a person. The smell of their sweet hair, sweet breath, their soft breathing, the way they curl into you -- there's just nothing like it. And the gift of time and rememberence makes those late nights, lack of sleep, blow out diapers -- all that stuff just disappears!

So my Throwback Thursday is simply that -- reflecting on when my kids were littler. And in looking through old pictures, I happened upon two of my favorite scrapbook layouts. They were both taken in May of 2007, so Dominic was 11 months old, which would make Amara 33 months old (i.e. almost 3).

In May of 2007, we took a family trip to the Black Hills (South Dakota). And by family trip, I mean my entire family. We went to celebrate my Grandparent's 60th Anniversary and renewal ceremony at Chapel In the Hills. While in the hills, of course you have to go see Mount Rushmore - even though I've been there countless times. No matter how many times I've seen it though, it's powerful and breathtaking each time. I especially loved this picture that I took of Amara with Jon looking at the mountain. I thought it so fitting that a little girl and her hero were looking up at traditional US heroes. I think this will always be one of my favorite pictures.



Dominic's picture was taken at home in Cincinnati, also in May of 2007. He was 11 months old and cruising all over the house. He had the strength to walk, but wasn't quite there yet. He was so eager to discover the world, and I just thought this series of pictures captured that. He has always had a curious little mind -- how do things fit together? how does this work? Ironically, he didn't start walking until September of 2007 -- a full 4 months after these photos were taken. It was literally the day after he had tubes put in his ears. All the fluid was making him unable to balance, and thus unable to walk. He started talking that same day in September. And not just a little bit -- he quickly went from a handful of single words to full sentences. Poor kid needed those tubes, that's for sure!

Don't know why the sentimentality today. I think a night of snuggling with my kiddos did me good. The opportunities to snuggle will continue to get fewer and farther between as they grow up. For now, I'm glad they still love to hug me close.

Jon and I have always known that we’re complete opposites. Our friends know it. Our families know it. The famous “Jerry McGuire” movie line, “You complete me,” makes total sense to us. We are perfectly aligned on the centrally important thing in our life: put God first. However, our approach to things, the way we think, the way we feel, act, learn – everything else about us is completely opposite.

I was chatting with some friends last night and the Myers Briggs Personality Test became a topic of conversation. I took it and had the same results I’ve had since the first time I took the test 16 years ago. Perhaps the degree to which I possess certain qualities has shifted slightly, but the outcome was the same. So then I had Jon take it. Confirmation: We’re complete opposites. Literally. To the extent that the percentage of each quality for each of us almost negates each others and brings us to zero. Quite fascinating really.

So who are we, according to Myers Briggs?
I am ESFJ
Jon is INTJ
OK, so not *complete* opposites. The “J” is our common bond.

The interesting thing is how completely accurate the descriptions are for each of us.



Me – ESFJ

Kiersey identifies this combination as the “Guardian Provider.” Traits or tendencies include:

- Take it upon themselves to insure the health and welfare of those in their care
- Happily give their time and energy to make sure that the needs of others are met
- Highly cooperative
- Skilled in maintaining teamwork among their helpers
- Able to speak publicly with ease and confidence
- Knows everyone by name, and seemingly aware of what everyone's been doing
- Friendly, outgoing, neighborly
- Will often strike up a conversation with strangers
- Friendships matter a great deal; conversations with friends often touch on good times from years past
- Family traditions are sacred
- Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations
- Delightful fascination with news of their friends and neighbors
- Extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, which makes them perhaps the most sympathetic of all the types
- Somewhat self-conscious, highly sensitive to what others think of them
- Loving and affectionate themselves, they need to be loved in return.
- Providers can be crushed by personal criticism
- Happiest when given ample appreciation both for themselves personally and for the tireless service they give to others
- Work hard and play with zest
- Easily wounded; when wounded, their emotions will not be contained
- Wear their hearts on their sleeves
- Sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive
- Hyper-vigilant; sense danger all around
- Actions are encouraged or rebuked based on how they affect other people


Jon – INTJ

Kiersey identifies this combination as the “Mastermind” and says that they are rare, comprising no more than 1% of the population. This is consistent with many other types of personality tests Jon has taken. Traits or tendencies include:

- Idea people
- Head and shoulders above all the rest in contingency planning
- Naturally able to grasp how one step leads too another in necessary progression
- Never set off on their current project without a Plan A firmly in mind, but they are always prepared to switch to Plan B or C or D if need be
- Rarely encountered outside their office, factory, school, or laboratory
- Not at all eager to take command, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead (this is one that doesn’t describe Jon)
- Thoroughgoing pragmatists once they take the lead
- Certain that efficiency is indispensable
- Quick to realign operations and reassign personnel if they see inefficiences
- Do not feel bound by established rules and procedures
- Possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability
- Gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice
- Traditional authority does not impress them, nor do slogans or catchwords
- Only ideas that make sense to them are adopted; those that don't, aren't, no matter who thought of them
- In their careers, rise to positions of responsibility
- Work long and hard and are dedicated in their pursuit of goals
- Problem-solving is highly stimulating
- Verbalize the positive and avoid comments of a negative nature
- More interested in moving an organization forward than dwelling on mistakes of the past
- Tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals
- Very strong willed
- Decisions come easily to them, but before they decide anything, they must do the research
- Highly theoretical
- Suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality
- May appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence
- INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know
- Perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest
- Unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake
- Extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand


Another interesting discovery – when digging into relationships between our types. (Directly quoted from: http://keirsey.com/personalityzone/lz86.asp)

Rationals (Jon) are the most opposite temperament to Guardians (me). (Told ya!) While you are concrete in your communication and cooperative in action, Rationals talk of abstract ideas, and are unconcerned with rules, traditions, or conventions in pursuing "what works". Long term, your Rational partner requires the most flexibility on your part, if you are to be happy together. (To be fair, they get the same advice).

- Get comfortable with their "need" to question authority. To a Rational (Jon), a rule is a guideline, may be outmoded, and is therefore open to question. Rationals respect one thing above all else: competence. They are always looking for a better way to do anything (that they care about), so you will need to get used to them not following rules, procedures, or authorities that they find to be obsolete, unnecessarily restrictive, or incompetent.

- Rationals will usually appreciate your ability to plan and save ahead for that rainy day. In fact, because Rationals' weakest suit is logistics, the more you take care of planning and details, the better. (Uh... yeah!) Use the "splurge fund" to buy your partner books and the latest tech gadgets.

- Help your Rational partner to be romantic. Of all the temperaments, they are the least sentimental, so marking important dates (such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc) on calendars where they will not miss them will help keep them from letting you down on these occasions. Even though it is often hidden, Rationals do have a romantic streak - they just need your help uncovering it.

I will say that Jon *is* a romantic and always does special things for OUR important dates. But other people’s birthdays, anniversaries – forget it! He’s not about to remember. So to our family – sorry! Please forward me your important dates and I’ll mark it on the calendar! The days of HIM remembering HIS side of the family and friends and ME remembering MY side are apparently over.

Anyway… a lot of rambling for a Tuesday morning…

All information was taken from these sites:
http://keirsey.com/personalityzone/lz86.asp
http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=2&c=provider
http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=5&c=mastermind
http://typelogic.com/esfj.html
http://typelogic.com/intj.html

While the main theme of this chapter was that the story of our lives and all of history is not about us, but about God, it’s the worry and stress sub-theme that I really clung to, because I’ve found myself struggling with that for the past 3 years.

*****

“On the average day, we live caught up in ourselves. On the average day, we don’t consider God very much. On the average day, we forget that our life truly is a vapor.” (pg 37)

I know that I’m guilty of all of the above. It seems that life has become more and more hectic during the last 3 years. I feel as if I’m always “drowning” and trying to keep my head above water and my life balanced. Yet, the more *I* try, the more *I* try to control it – which means that I’m not turning to God as I should.

I hear many people say that it’s during the “every day” of life that they forget to turn to God; that they turn to God when things get bad. I think I’m the opposite. During “normal” life, I find it very easy to thank Him and recognize Him for my many blessings, for the beautiful things that surround me, for my family, for my life. However, when times get stressful, that’s when I tend to turn inward and fight for control – fight to keep my head above water. Why is that?

Next to the paragraph above, I penciled in my margin: How do you start your day? How do you live your day? Is God an appointment in your calendar? Something tells me God doesn’t want to be “an appointment” – He wants to be the first thing you turn to daily. He wants to be the most important thing in your life – in MY life – not something that can be squeezed in at the time that is most convenient.

*****

“Frederick Buechner wrote, ‘Intellectually we all know that we will die, but we do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as though it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as though our lives would go on forever.’” (pg 38)

How would my life look if I lived like there’s no tomorrow? How would your life look?

I’m quite sure my life doesn’t look like I live that way. I think looking back, it’s much easier to say what I’d do differently if I lived that way. Decisions that made sense at the time (such as buying a house that NEEDS to be renovated), don’t make much sense when it comes to living like there’s no tomorrow. While I enjoy home renovation to a degree, it’s also a huge source of stress in my already busy life. It’s a necessary evil (because we’re already in the midst of it and can’t simply abandon ship) that takes me away from quality family time.

I know there are other aspects of my life that probably need to be considered and re-evaluated. Is their purpose to further God or to further myself? And if their purpose is to further myself…am I honoring and following God in their pursuit? While I do intend to always seek His will and certainly follow it – it’s also something that I need to make sure I consciously do. With every decision. “He must become greater. I must become less.” (John 3:30). That’s certainly not to say we can’t be successful – but our approach must always be to make God greater in the process. It is only through Him that we can have success – and our treasures must be in heaven, not on earth (Matthew 6:19-20).

*****

“I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people.” (pg 39)

So which are you? Are you naturally a worrier? Or are you naturally joyful? And why?

I used to believe I’m naturally a joyful person. And I do believe that happiness is a choice – at least generically speaking. However, as I mentioned above, I’ve felt a lot more pressure during these past 3 years, and I daresay I’m also a bit of a natural worrier. And my joy, while still there, sometimes takes more effort than it used to. I need to take very seriously the command in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

I’ve been very convicted recently about my complaining attitude, and the fact that I haven’t been “counting it all joy” (James 1:2). I hear about other people’s lives who are so burdened and full of strife, and wonder why I’m complaining about my own measly troubles. I know that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others – but in some regards, it does help to put my stress into perspective. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting a proverbial kick in the tail and the command to, “Buck up,” or “get over it.” And in a way, it is the message, “Get over yourself,” that does resonate. That’s part of the beauty of serving – at your church or anywhere really – in serving, you’re able to humble yourself and put life in perspective. You’re able to be a part of something larger than yourself and really get a taste of life to realize that it’s truly not about you.

“When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out about my life, my family, and my job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a “right” to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.” (pg 39)

Wow – that hit me like a ton of bricks. I know that I allow my stresses to consume me. And that’s not to say I’m stressed out about bad things – my biggest stress is balance and a desire to serve God and my family as He would have me serve. However, it’s my attitude that is convicting. I allow that desire to serve and balance my life to consume me in such a negative stressful way, that I don’t allow God to work in me. I need to give Him control, and more importantly, I need to bend to His will, instead of trying to serve on my own terms.

“The point of your life is to point to Him.” (pg 42)

Am I?

*****

“Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says that things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. [cut] Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.” (pg 40)

My mother in law’s favorite verse (or one of them) is Matthew 6:34 KJV, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” In other translations, “evil” is written as “worry.” But with those two different translations – I think it’s clear how worry can be viewed – it’s equated to evil!

The statements above from page 40 really made me think. I know that I worry, and I know that I stress. However, I didn’t ever think that I doubted God’s power or love. It was definitely an eye opening way to consider stress and worry.

A statement I felt really summarized the chapter well is, “It doesn’t really matter what place you find yourself in right now. Your part is to bring him glory.” It is, after all, completely about God.

Meal Planning is quite possibly one of my least favorite things to do. I'm not a huge fan of the kitchen in general, so planning meals is very stressful for me. That said.... I have a huge desire to put healthy, well-balanced meals on the table for my family. Always a challenge when we don't usually get home until 6pm or 6:30!

I discovered this receipe a few years ago in a Quick Cooking Magazine, which is published by Taste of Home, I believe. I grabbed the photo from their website. My whole family loves this recipe. My husband isn't a fan of regular taco salad because of the hard corn chips. This recipe actually asks you to fry up tortilla strips -- which is quite a bit tastier, and definitely not as hard as regular chips.

I don't have a meal planned for tonight... this might just fit my bill!

Ingredients:
1 pound uncooked large shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 envelope taco seasoning, divided
1/2 cup plus 3 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 small onion, finely chopped
3 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons diced green or sweet red pepepr
6 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/4 teaspoon sugar
3 corn tortillas (6 inches), cut into 1/4-inch strips
1 package (8 ounces) ready-to-serve salad greens
1 medium tomato, chopped
1 can (8 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained
2 cups (8 ounces) finely shredded Colby-Monterey Jack cheese

Directions: Remove shrimp tails if desired. Place shrimp in a bowl; sprinkle with half of the taco seasoning. Set aside. In a jar with a tight-fitting lid, combine 1/2 cup oil, onion, vinegar, green pepper, garlic, coriander and sugar; shake well and set aside.

In a skillet, stir-fry tortilla strips in remaining oil; drain on paper towels. Sprinkle with remaining taco seasoning. In the same skillet, saute shrimp for 8-10 minutes or until shrimp turn pink.

In a large bowl, combine the greens, tomato, beans, shrimp and tortilla strips. Just before serving, shake dressing and pour over salad; sprinkle with cheese and toss to coat. Yield: 6-8 servings.

In a previous post, I shared my thoughts on the Preface of the “Crazy Love.” However, I thought I had probably had written enough for one blog post, so will share my thoughts on Chapter One: Stop Praying, here.

Doesn’t that title grab you immediately? Stop Praying. What!? Are you serious? That’s crazy talk.

But listen to what Francis Chan writes:

“What if I told you to stop talking at God for a while, but instead to take a long, hard look at Him before you speak another word?” (pg 23)

Listen!

I know we do it in our daily lives (at least I do) – talk so much we forget to listen. And we do it with God, too (again…at least I do). I praise Him, thank Him, ask Him for guidance, for help, etc. But do I really listen to Him?

One Bible Study or sermon I heard gave us an acronym for PRAY that I find to be a very good reminder. We should approach God in this order.
P- Praise “Enter his gates with a song of thanksgiving. Come into his courtyards with a song of praise. Give thanks to him; praise his name.” -Psalm 100:4
R- Repent “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” -Acts 3:19
A- Ask “And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” -Luke 11:9
Y- Yield “Now do not be stiff-necked, as your fathers were, but yield yourselves to the LORD; and enter His sanctuary, which He has sanctified forever, and
serve the LORD your God, that the fierceness of His wrath may turn away from you.” -2 Chronicles 30:8

I also interpret the “Yield” to be the time where we get out of God’s way, sit back, and listen to what He has to say to us. He wants to speak to us – and more than that, He wants us to hear and to obey.

*****

“The wise man comes to God without saying a word and stands in awe of Him.” (pg 23)

When’s the last time you stood in awe of God?

More than anything this week, I think I’ve been convicted of this. I grew up in a Christian home, lived a “good life,” tried to keep my nose clean, as my Dad would say. I have never had a “come to Jesus” moment when I’ve been completely broken, abused, hurt, or gone through a debilitating trial. I’ve been blessed – and that’s really my testimony. But I think that’s also my challenge. I’ve never been “forced” (for lack of a better word) to rely solely on God. So while I know Him, while I love Him, while I know He loves me, while I rely on Him… I’m not sure I completely grasp the extent of all of it. I know it’s indescribable, because the Bible says that it is. I know my minute mind cannot fully grasp the fullness of God, no matter how hard I try. But I also think I’ve got to step back and stand in awe of God more often so that I can develop my understanding of Him and his greatness to the best of my ability.

As if to answer my own questions, Francis Chan writes, in response to why God created 350 billion galaxies, “Do you think maybe it was to make us say, ‘Wow, God is unfathomably big?’ Or perhaps God wanted us to see these pictures so that our response would be, ‘Who do I think I am?’” (pg 24)

As I type, it hit me that God does try to put in perspective that which He knows we’ll never be able to put into words. He knows we’ll never be able to describe how big He is; as Chan writes, it’s unfathomable. However, he provides us an amazing illustration of His grandeur. We’re but a mere speck in a small galaxy amongst hundreds of billions of galaxies. And yet, He pursues us with an unrelentless love. Crazy. A crazy love!

Go HERE and watch the video called “The Awe Factor of God.” If that doesn’t blow you away, I’m not sure what will.

*****

I’m going grab a few thoughts from pages 25 and 26 to link together some thoughts.

“Have you ever thought about how diverse and creative God is?” [cut] “…have you ever marveled at it?” [cut] “…the point of it all is His glory. God’s art speaks fo Himself, reflecting who He is and what He is like.” [cut] “This is why we are called to worship Him. His art, His handiwork, and His creation all echo the truth that He is glorious.” (pg 25-26)

As if anything but a creative, all-powerful God could create all that we enjoy on this beautiful earth. And how awesome is it that He was so diligent with his creation that he paid attention to the most minute details of everything. A caterpillar with 228 muscles in his head?!

What baffles me is that knowing the extent of the miracles, creativity, diversity, and sheer wonder that exist in nature alone – how can anyone doubt that there’s a God? And how can anyone doubt His power? There’s no way a simple “big bang” could create all that – there simply must be a force behind it. And that “force” must be something so indescribably huge, awesome, powerful, great (keep inserting adjectives here) – that there is no room to call it anything BUT God. It’s simply not possible.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your creativity and the beauty of this world around me that we are given the gift of enjoying. Lord, how much greater will heaven be one day?! That You have chosen to reflect even a small amount of Your glory for us is humbling. Help me to be more aware of You daily, more in awe of You daily. Thank you for the examples You’ve given us that help us understand Your might, Your vastness, even if we’re unable to put it to words. Amen.

*****

“I sometimes struggle with how to properly respond to God’s magnitude in a world bent on ignoring or merely tolerating Him. But know this: God will not be tolerated. He instructs us to worship and fear Him.” (pg 26)

How easy is it to fall into that trap? I think back on the times when I felt closest to God, when I felt most in tune with Him, most greatly appreciated the wonder of everything He created. My answer is simple: when I was completely plugged into a local church and a small group who held me accountable. When I consciously spend time daily in His word, His world is more real to me. I’m more aware of His presence when I’m in His word. Ironic how that works, eh? “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8. Care to test Him on that promise? I just bet He’ll deliver!


*****

“When we love God because we feel we should love Him, instead of genuinely loving out or our true selves, we have forgotten who God really is.” [cut] “…we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him.” (pg 27)

As little children, we’re taught that we should love Him. So we do. But somewhere along the line, we begin to be “test takers” and just answer the questions the way we were taught to answer them.

When I was in college, I was very good at knowing the answers for the test – but not retaining the information for further reference. Do we do that with God? Do we cram for the test, but fail to retain the information?

I challenge myself as well as anyone else reading this – retain the information! Get in His word. Know Him! Let the Holy Spirit fill you. Getting the answer right only for the test is simply not good enough – this is a Life Application, not a test we need to pass. For if we don’t apply it to our life…I don’t know that we’ll pass the test.

*****

“We are programmed to focus on what we don’t have.” [cut] “This dissatisfaction transfers over to our thinking about God.” (pg 28)

I just finished a Bible Study called “Lord Change My Attitude” by James McDowell (very good, if you're wondering). The first chapter focuses on complaining, and specifically calls it “wilderness thinking.” The Israelites, when being led out of Egypt and to the Promised Land, complained every step of the way, despite all the provisions and protection God gave them. The miracles He provided were quite amazing. Yet they grumbled.

The result of the grumbling was that God didn’t allow the Israelites into the Promised Land until the last of that generation had past away (except Caleb and Joshua) (Numbers 14: 29-30). He was so angry that they weren’t satisfied with what He had given, that he took it away. He kept His promise of giving the Promised Land to the Israelites…but those over age 20 who made the walk from Egypt never were able to see it.

Talk about convicting! I was (and am) so convicted about my complaining. What blessings am I blocking simply because I’m not satisfied by what God has given me? Am I so focused on what I don’t have that I forget to thank God for what I do have?

*****

“We don’t get to decide who God is.” [cut] “His perfect holiness, by definition, assures us that our words can’t contain Him. Isn’t it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?” [cut] “God exists out of time, and since we are within time, there is no way we will ever totally grasp that concept.” [cut] “…it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending. What a stunted, insignificant god that would be!” (pg 29-30)

I love these phrases! When I get myself talking in logic circles, I really take solace in the fact that I will never totally grasp His magnitude – and that’s OK! God is not and cannot be defined by “Our Interpretation” of Him, and our attempts to do so is a disservice to God, because we will never be adequate in our description or interpretation.

Likewise, His word is not open to our interpretation. It’s amazing to me the vast number of interpretations there are for various passages, and how twisted and divergent some of those interpretations can be. I’m sure it saddens God to see His word corrupted in such a way and used to do such terrible things to His people. While the Bible is the living, breathing word of God – it’s not for us to bend to our wills. It is The Truth – it is God’s Truth. There is no other Truth.


*****

Speaking of truth provides a good segue to justice. “If what we truly deserved were up to us, we would end up with as many different answers as people who responded. But it isn’t up to us, mostly because none of us are good.” (pg 32)

Think of all the “bad” people throughout history. Many of them believed that they were doing what was right, what was true. Many even acted (wrongly) in the name of God…believed that they were right and acting upon the truth. I have sat through many church services where they do a man-on-the-street type video asking for people to define “truth” – and every time a majority of the people say that truth is individually defined. Truth is different for everyone. Everyone must find their own truth.

What a lost world we live in. Upon what do we base truth if everyone is defining it for themselves? If truth is dependent upon a person or a popular opinion, anything can become true! As Chan writes, none of us is good – so by that, we’re then defining truth from a whacked base-point. That’s a hopeful thought. Oy!

But if Truth is God (and it is) – John 14:6 “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” – then we have a strong and perfect foundation upon which to base our definition of Truth. Actually, it’s the only definition. As believers, when we receive the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth dwells within us (“However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth.” John 16:13). When people start to make decisions and laws based on popular opinion instead of God, we slide quickly down the slippery slope.

*****

“John’s [description of the throne room of God in Revelation 4] helps us imagine what the throne room of God looks like, while Isaiah’s [Isaiah 6] reminds us what our only response to such a God should be. May Isaiah’s cry become our own. Woe is me…we are a people of unclean lips!” (pg 35)

We have NO right to be God’s chosen people. We are far from worthy and not at all deserving. Yet…He chose us. Not only that, He sent His only Son to die for us, to pay the price for our sins. Now that’s a crazy love.

Heavenly Father, you are gracious and merciful. We are so undeserving of your grace, your mercy, or your love. Thank you for the precious gift of your Son and your saving love. Thank you for taking the burdens of our sins and nailing them to the cross. Help us to live a life worthy of our calling as heirs of your kingdom. In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.

Boy, an art bloghop.... I'm not sure if I have anything to share!

HA!

I've been addicted to arts and crafts since I was a kid. My daughter got some of that part of me, and I'm just tickled. She told me the other week, "Mom, I didn't want to do home living today, because I wanted to keep working on my art project." I told her, "Good choice. I can completely understand."

Therein lies my problem! :)

So the art I'll share on today's blog hop is that of mine and my daughters. This first scrapbook page is my daughter at age 3.5 with her school project. She was asked to draw her family. I think the "other brother" in the drawing is probably actually her, since we don't have 3 children!


This butterfly princess life-sized picture graced our kitchen wall for longer than I intended. She was so proud of her project. A biased opinion for sure, but it was definitely the best art project in her class. :)

This last page is another illustration of "art" that I enjoy doing. Sewing. I don't have nearly as much time for as it (or any crafts) as I'd like. But each year I really enjoy making their Halloween costumes. Of course, scrapping them later is quite fun, too. Last year they went as a pirate (my son age 2), and a butterfly princess in a dress (my daughter, age 4). And yes, everytime people asked what she was, she had to add "in a dress." In that regard... she didn't get that trait from me! I hate dresses! :)

Join the hop and share your art! :)

We are diving into week one of the “Crazy Love” book over at Bloom. It’s not too late to join us, and it looks like it will be a very powerful book.

I’m intending to share my thoughts through the Preface and Chapter One through my blog today… but they will be shared just as that: thoughts. They may appear random, they may go off on tangents, they may not even relate well to each other. We’ll leave the editing to the true writers!

If you’re reading the “Crazy Love” book with me, I’d love to hear your feedback. Even if you’re not, please feel free share your thoughts as well.

PREFACE:

*****

“…we are each part of the church and therefore responsible.” (pg 17)

This statement was impactful to me and made me think of several conversations I’ve had with friends as well as a few different sermons I’ve heard in the past year or so. Specifically, it made me think of the “consumerism” in many churches (or rather in the people attending the churches). I’m as guilty as anyone in saying, “This church doesn’t have what I want/need. The children’s ministry isn’t strong enough. I don’t care for the music. The small groups are unorganized.” The list could go on indefinitely, I’m afraid. Too many people (again, myself included) approach the church with an attitude of “how can you serve me?” instead of “how can I serve God here?” or “God, please use me here!”

It also made me think about serving in general within the church. This was a conversation a friend and I recently had. Often when we welcome new Christians into our church, we tell them about the relationship with Christ – which of course is central. But we don’t always show them how to get plugged in and/or ask them to serve. What we miss by being so “seeker sensitive” that we don’t ask for help is giving people the opportunity to be “filled up” through their service. Think about the last time you were in service to a cause greater than yourself – how did you feel? Personally, the amount of effort I gave for the cause was beneficial to the cause to a degree – but much more beneficial to me. We are blessed to be able to serve – tap into those blessings!

*****

“I get nervous when I think of how we’ve missed who we are supposed to be, and sad when I think about how we’re missing out on all God wants for the people He loved enough to die for.” (pg 18)

Those last 3 words made that sentence read differently to me than I’ve ever thought of before. In the past, the question, “What is God’s will for my life” has resonated with me. However, the urgency of discovering and acting upon that will – because HE DIED FOR ME – makes me want to get moving!

What is my purpose? What am I here for? I need to slow down and learn to listen to God. I need to listen intentionally. I need to pray for and expect answers…and wait for them rather than praying and then just running of to my next commitment. How many answers have I missed, simply because I didn’t hang around and pay attention? Do I even want to know the answer to that question?

*****

“Then God began changing my heart. This took place largely during the times I spent reading His Word.” (pg 18)

I need to go back and dig out some quotes from my Monday night ladies’ Bible Study. Suffice to say our leader is constantly hammering home that the ONLY way to know God is to know His word. The Bible is God’s love letter to us. In fact, it’s more than that – for we’re told, “In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was with God. And the Word WAS God.” (John 1:1) We have been given constant access to Him – what excuse can really be good enough that we’re not taking full advantage of that access?

*****

[Regarding the book] “It is for those who don’t want to plateau, those who would rather die before their convictions do.” (pg 19)

Last Monday night, our ladies’ Bible Study leader said, “There is no plateau in Christianity. Either you’re moving forward or you’re moving backward.” The sad thing to me is that it’s always under my control…my choice. It is my choices that determine whether I’m moving forward or backward. Sure, I try to blame the busy-ness of life, the stress of being a working mom, the hectic schedule, etc., etc., etc. But could it really be lack of effort, laziness, or lack of self-discipline? Likely.

*****

“I hope that reading this book will convince you of something: that by surrendering yourself totally to God’s purposes, He will bring you the most pleasure in this life and the next.” (pg 19)

I read that and thought, man… what am I waiting for!? If that’s not a tempting invitation, I don’t know what is!? Let’s surrender now…not just some of me, but ALL of me!

*****

“I believe He wants us to love others so much that we go to extremes to help them. I believe He wants us to be known for giving – of our time, our money, and our abilities – and to start a movement of “giving” churches. In so doing, we can alleviate the suffering in the world and change the reputation of His bride in America.” (pg 19)

This phrase resonated so strongly with me, especially considering the line of work Jon’s been in (i.e. non-profits) for the last 11 years. I think that, generally speaking, the church is good at overseas missions, but often misses the boat when serving “in their backyard.” Churches often rely on those in the community to come to them, but don’t always meet the unchurched where they are. Why would an unchurched person (you name the history) come to our church with us “just because?” I believe strongly that the best way to share Christ is to live it – to let Him shine through you. As the phrase goes, “Share the Gospel daily. And if you must, use words.” Once the relationship is forged, then they may be willing to accept an invitation to church or be willing to hear and accept the Gospel message of salvation. Jesus was a man of relationships. Why aren’t we? Jesus went to people and met them where they were. Why don’t we?

*****

“We need to stop giving people excuses not to believe in God. [cut] At least then they’d address their rejection of God rather than use the church as a scapegoat.” (pg 20)

This statement was really convicting to me. Does my life reflect God? Or does my life give people a reason not to believe? What does my attitude and actions tell people about God and living a Christian life? I’m sad to say my answers would vary depending upon the time of day, my mood, my work load, my kids’ behavior. Not always the reflection of God I’d like to be portraying.

*****

[Inaccurate view of God] “We see Him as a benevolent Being who is satisfied when people manage to fit Him into their lives in some small way. We forget that God never had an identity crisis. He knows that He’s great and deserves to be the center of our lives. Jesus came humbly as a servant, but He never begs us to give Him some small part of ourselves. He commands everything from His followers.” (pg 20)

Wow. Knife to the heart. How many times do I say, “Well, I’m late to church…but at least I made it!” or “I don’t have time to do my devotions, but I’ll make sure to pray.” Or how many times to I fall asleep praying. One could argue that I was at peace and in comfort and it lulled me to sleep… but really… is that how YOU feel when someone falls asleep on you mid conversation? Am I really giving God my best? Or am I giving Him my “good enough?” Because “good enough” simply doesn’t cut it. He deserves, yes He commands, more than that!

*****

“Come with me on this journey. I don’t promise it will be painless.”

While I’m often told I’m my own worst critic (I think others can relate to that statement as well)… I think I’ve illustrated how painFUL and convicting this book just may be!

Lord, help me to see You and better yet, acknowledge You for as great, powerful, and awesome as you really are. Shine through me. Change my heart, change my attitude. Help me to count it all joy so that I’m not a stumbling block for others. Teach me how to surrender it all to You, not for the pleasures in this life that you promise, but to give You glory. Because You alone are Holy. You alone are worthy. You deserve my all. Amen.

I have to say, I'm SO excited about this picture!



I've been encouraged my family to take the kids' birthday pictures instead of bringing them to a portrait place. I was only paying $10 for the sitting fee and one pose selection with several prints of the photos -- so it was really a great deal. Infact, it was/is a better deal than taking them myself and printing them. However, they were starting to recycle poses, because they have to take the pre-set poses and often this specific studio doesn't get any more creative with what they do.

So for Dominic's 3rd birthday, and now Amara's 5th birthday, I went with it. My biggest "problem" is that the kids are so used to me taking pictures all the times, that they really don't cooperate when I tell them to pose. Or they pose THEIR way, which really is not conducive to nice pictures, if you know what I mean.

However, this time it worked! Dominic did something that made Amara laugh, so I was able to capture her real smile instead of a goofy fake smile. There were only 2, maybe 3 photos that I'd consider using, but this one was the hands down winner. So family, this photo will gracing your mailboxes soon (or perhaps Christmas presents.... if I'm that slow to get it out!)

I love to watch my kids interact with their Grandparents (and vice versa).

They were just teasing each other -- I think Amara was trying not to hug my dad. But look at the joy in both of their faces!

How precious to see all the books that were read on the deck by candle light. A bit of heaven in each of those faces.



What shapes do you see in the clouds?



Nothing like a picnic lunch out on the front lawn!



At what point can we live near both our families? What bliss that would be!

This picture wasn't taken at the fair, but just how excited does Amara look to be 5? She was walking on air all weekend!

We went to a local craft festival called "Clothesline Fair" this weekend. It was a GORGEOUS day. The kids found this little tent/teepee that one of the crafters was selling. Does anyone else walk around craft fairs thinking, "I could make that...."



Instead of the crafting, we found the tractors. In honor of Great Grandpa we had to seek out the antique John Deere (there were several of them).



Not green, and not a Deere, but Dominic was drawn to the orange one.



Actually, he was not discriminatory -- he'd have crawled on every single tractor if given the chance!

Start with a birthday celebration at school. I made this butterfly "cake" out of Rice Krispies treats. They were all individually wrapped, and I just opened them and "shaped" them into the butterfly. It was great to be able to serve without needing to cut them!

Open lots of presents. We wrapped up each little item one by one -- she felt extra important. Though she did remind me today (4 days later) that she was dreaming about a pink and purple horse, but didn't get it. That IS the one thing she asked for -- but pink and purple horses are a bit hard to come by....



Eat some more cake... This cake was special for 3 reasons. (1) Daddy picked it out. (2) It has Dora on it -- still her favorite. (3) The pink frosting did very odd things to things that shouldn't be pink.... I'll let you ponder that for a while.



Eat sushi at a Hibachi Grill. OK, so this time she wouldn't eat it (last time she did). But she did try it. And she did wolf down the shrimp. The picture below is when the chef lit the grill on fire! They LOVE "the fire food house!"



And that's what a 5 year old's birthday celebration looks like!

The theme of the September 5 Photo Hunt is "Orange" -- and my mind went instantly to this scrapbook page. The amount of fun two kids can have with everyday objects astounds me. It certainly keeps my money in my pocket while toy shopping -- they're as happy with a bucket or a cardboard box as they are with new toys.

I love this photo of my kids though -- the pure joy shines through. It was a beautiful March day (evidenced by the lack of jackets and short sleeves), though I'm sure the water in the buckets made it slightly chilly. They were oblivious though -- content simply to be "helping" daddy.

"Orange" you glad you came to check out my Photo Hunt? :)

Kelly's Korner is hosting a Show Us Your Life: School Pictures today, and it made me chuckle, so I thought I'd participate. We have monthly meetings at work where we share our life with our teammates. These are pictures I pulled from my "About Me" presentation.

The first group of pictures is mostly pre-school with a couple exceptions. I'll go across the top, then across the bottom in my descriptions.

1) Talk about a tomboy. I spent more time up in that tree than I did anywhere else. Forget dolls and Barbies -- I actually owned ZERO Barbies. But that tree and a few select balls and the park across the street were awesome!
2) No wonder my cleaning skills are terrible as an adult -- as a child, I was allowed to sweep upside down!
3) Notice which of us is the angel? :) My Mom always made our Halloween costumes and they always became pajamas after Halloween.
4) My best friend and I got our hair done by her mom...then got into her cold cream... she took pictures, then gave us spankings! :)
5) The park behind my house.
6) I must have been 5 or maybe 6 in that picture with my brother.
7) I believe this is my 3 year old picture. Same age as Dominic!
8) Probably 4 there.... Merry Christmas dress.
9) Another Halloween -- I must have been a farmer or something? I'm not real sure!


These are my 6th grade through 12th grade class pictures.
6th Grade /7th Grade: As a summer swimmer, my hair was FRIED, and blond with tinges of green for both years
8th Grade /9th Grade: The "height" of big hair. I could never make mine very big!
10th Grade / 12th Grade: Didn't change a whole lot. Love the obligatory "hand by the chin" senior picture pose. And if you could see my hand, you'd see a ring on every single finger. What's up with that!?

Enjoy the giggles! :)

Happy 5th Birthday, Sweet Amara.

You made me a mother. My life is richer because of you.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

PS.... there was the most beautiful sunset tonight. I told Amara God sent it just for her to tell her how much He loves her. She said a prayer tonight to thank Him for the beuatiful sunrise. That girl's heart is so beautiful and so pure and so turned to God. May she continue to grow in Him.

Five years ago (September 3) I became a mother and my life was forever changed.

Even as she grows, God is using her to teach me lessons on control (or my lack of it). Someday I'll tell you about her potty training adventures!

This song about hope and trusting on God is especially appropriate and poignant to me:

My Hope Is Built On Nothing Less

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.



If you've never heard the hymn, listen to it...now back to the story...

In late November 2003, my wonderful Grandmother (paternal) passed away. Two weeks later, on my Dad's birthday, we discovered we were expecting. What perfect timing. What a blessing from God that, in the midst of despair and sorrow, He plants beautiful, sweet hope.

At Christmas in 2003, we broke the news to my family (we had already shared it with Jon's). We gave my parents bibs as Christmas gifts that said "I love Grandpa" and "Grandma you're gorgeous." My whole family was there, and it was such a fun and exciting way to share the news.

Two weeks later, my Grandfather (paternal) passed away. I'm SO thankful I didn't follow conventional wisdom and wait 12 weeks to share the news. My Grandpa's face, at the news of his first Grandchild's pending arrival, was pure joy. I only wish they'd have had the privilege of meeting my children...and vice versa.

And now the reason for this post... HOPE! And specifically, Amara Hope.

People often ask us how we came up with her name.

The short answer: we found it on the internet.

Hold on for the long answer...
With the passing of my Grandparents, and the long before passing of Jon's Grandpa, we wanted to honor them and the faith legacy we are so blessed to have in both our families. We wanted the middle name to be Faith, Hope, or Grace, so the first name needed to go well with one of those, and had to have significant meaning. We also wanted the name to be unique and somewhat uncommon without being outlandish.

I got online and typed in definitions to see what names came up. After many attempts and discarded options, I discovered "Amara: of Greek origins, means unfading, eternal."

Perfect!

Partner Amara with Hope and we've got Eternal Hope.

Her life-verse, and my prayer for her quickly became 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 "May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word."

Hope - as stated in the verses above, is gracefully given to us by God. If hope is God-given, and it is -- what great confidence we can have in that hope! It is only because of our faith that we can have hope. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

(While I was reflecting on my daughter's life, I was led to a website called (in)courage, whose theme this month is Hope. They inspired this post. Please go visit them and be (in)couraged!)