Jon and I have always known that we’re complete opposites. Our friends know it. Our families know it. The famous “Jerry McGuire” movie line, “You complete me,” makes total sense to us. We are perfectly aligned on the centrally important thing in our life: put God first. However, our approach to things, the way we think, the way we feel, act, learn – everything else about us is completely opposite.

I was chatting with some friends last night and the Myers Briggs Personality Test became a topic of conversation. I took it and had the same results I’ve had since the first time I took the test 16 years ago. Perhaps the degree to which I possess certain qualities has shifted slightly, but the outcome was the same. So then I had Jon take it. Confirmation: We’re complete opposites. Literally. To the extent that the percentage of each quality for each of us almost negates each others and brings us to zero. Quite fascinating really.

So who are we, according to Myers Briggs?
I am ESFJ
Jon is INTJ
OK, so not *complete* opposites. The “J” is our common bond.

The interesting thing is how completely accurate the descriptions are for each of us.



Me – ESFJ

Kiersey identifies this combination as the “Guardian Provider.” Traits or tendencies include:

- Take it upon themselves to insure the health and welfare of those in their care
- Happily give their time and energy to make sure that the needs of others are met
- Highly cooperative
- Skilled in maintaining teamwork among their helpers
- Able to speak publicly with ease and confidence
- Knows everyone by name, and seemingly aware of what everyone's been doing
- Friendly, outgoing, neighborly
- Will often strike up a conversation with strangers
- Friendships matter a great deal; conversations with friends often touch on good times from years past
- Family traditions are sacred
- Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations
- Delightful fascination with news of their friends and neighbors
- Extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, which makes them perhaps the most sympathetic of all the types
- Somewhat self-conscious, highly sensitive to what others think of them
- Loving and affectionate themselves, they need to be loved in return.
- Providers can be crushed by personal criticism
- Happiest when given ample appreciation both for themselves personally and for the tireless service they give to others
- Work hard and play with zest
- Easily wounded; when wounded, their emotions will not be contained
- Wear their hearts on their sleeves
- Sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive
- Hyper-vigilant; sense danger all around
- Actions are encouraged or rebuked based on how they affect other people


Jon – INTJ

Kiersey identifies this combination as the “Mastermind” and says that they are rare, comprising no more than 1% of the population. This is consistent with many other types of personality tests Jon has taken. Traits or tendencies include:

- Idea people
- Head and shoulders above all the rest in contingency planning
- Naturally able to grasp how one step leads too another in necessary progression
- Never set off on their current project without a Plan A firmly in mind, but they are always prepared to switch to Plan B or C or D if need be
- Rarely encountered outside their office, factory, school, or laboratory
- Not at all eager to take command, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead (this is one that doesn’t describe Jon)
- Thoroughgoing pragmatists once they take the lead
- Certain that efficiency is indispensable
- Quick to realign operations and reassign personnel if they see inefficiences
- Do not feel bound by established rules and procedures
- Possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability
- Gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice
- Traditional authority does not impress them, nor do slogans or catchwords
- Only ideas that make sense to them are adopted; those that don't, aren't, no matter who thought of them
- In their careers, rise to positions of responsibility
- Work long and hard and are dedicated in their pursuit of goals
- Problem-solving is highly stimulating
- Verbalize the positive and avoid comments of a negative nature
- More interested in moving an organization forward than dwelling on mistakes of the past
- Tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals
- Very strong willed
- Decisions come easily to them, but before they decide anything, they must do the research
- Highly theoretical
- Suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality
- May appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence
- INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know
- Perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest
- Unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake
- Extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand


Another interesting discovery – when digging into relationships between our types. (Directly quoted from: http://keirsey.com/personalityzone/lz86.asp)

Rationals (Jon) are the most opposite temperament to Guardians (me). (Told ya!) While you are concrete in your communication and cooperative in action, Rationals talk of abstract ideas, and are unconcerned with rules, traditions, or conventions in pursuing "what works". Long term, your Rational partner requires the most flexibility on your part, if you are to be happy together. (To be fair, they get the same advice).

- Get comfortable with their "need" to question authority. To a Rational (Jon), a rule is a guideline, may be outmoded, and is therefore open to question. Rationals respect one thing above all else: competence. They are always looking for a better way to do anything (that they care about), so you will need to get used to them not following rules, procedures, or authorities that they find to be obsolete, unnecessarily restrictive, or incompetent.

- Rationals will usually appreciate your ability to plan and save ahead for that rainy day. In fact, because Rationals' weakest suit is logistics, the more you take care of planning and details, the better. (Uh... yeah!) Use the "splurge fund" to buy your partner books and the latest tech gadgets.

- Help your Rational partner to be romantic. Of all the temperaments, they are the least sentimental, so marking important dates (such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc) on calendars where they will not miss them will help keep them from letting you down on these occasions. Even though it is often hidden, Rationals do have a romantic streak - they just need your help uncovering it.

I will say that Jon *is* a romantic and always does special things for OUR important dates. But other people’s birthdays, anniversaries – forget it! He’s not about to remember. So to our family – sorry! Please forward me your important dates and I’ll mark it on the calendar! The days of HIM remembering HIS side of the family and friends and ME remembering MY side are apparently over.

Anyway… a lot of rambling for a Tuesday morning…

All information was taken from these sites:
http://keirsey.com/personalityzone/lz86.asp
http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=2&c=provider
http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=5&c=mastermind
http://typelogic.com/esfj.html
http://typelogic.com/intj.html