While the main theme of this chapter was that the story of our lives and all of history is not about us, but about God, it’s the worry and stress sub-theme that I really clung to, because I’ve found myself struggling with that for the past 3 years.

*****

“On the average day, we live caught up in ourselves. On the average day, we don’t consider God very much. On the average day, we forget that our life truly is a vapor.” (pg 37)

I know that I’m guilty of all of the above. It seems that life has become more and more hectic during the last 3 years. I feel as if I’m always “drowning” and trying to keep my head above water and my life balanced. Yet, the more *I* try, the more *I* try to control it – which means that I’m not turning to God as I should.

I hear many people say that it’s during the “every day” of life that they forget to turn to God; that they turn to God when things get bad. I think I’m the opposite. During “normal” life, I find it very easy to thank Him and recognize Him for my many blessings, for the beautiful things that surround me, for my family, for my life. However, when times get stressful, that’s when I tend to turn inward and fight for control – fight to keep my head above water. Why is that?

Next to the paragraph above, I penciled in my margin: How do you start your day? How do you live your day? Is God an appointment in your calendar? Something tells me God doesn’t want to be “an appointment” – He wants to be the first thing you turn to daily. He wants to be the most important thing in your life – in MY life – not something that can be squeezed in at the time that is most convenient.

*****

“Frederick Buechner wrote, ‘Intellectually we all know that we will die, but we do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as though it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as though our lives would go on forever.’” (pg 38)

How would my life look if I lived like there’s no tomorrow? How would your life look?

I’m quite sure my life doesn’t look like I live that way. I think looking back, it’s much easier to say what I’d do differently if I lived that way. Decisions that made sense at the time (such as buying a house that NEEDS to be renovated), don’t make much sense when it comes to living like there’s no tomorrow. While I enjoy home renovation to a degree, it’s also a huge source of stress in my already busy life. It’s a necessary evil (because we’re already in the midst of it and can’t simply abandon ship) that takes me away from quality family time.

I know there are other aspects of my life that probably need to be considered and re-evaluated. Is their purpose to further God or to further myself? And if their purpose is to further myself…am I honoring and following God in their pursuit? While I do intend to always seek His will and certainly follow it – it’s also something that I need to make sure I consciously do. With every decision. “He must become greater. I must become less.” (John 3:30). That’s certainly not to say we can’t be successful – but our approach must always be to make God greater in the process. It is only through Him that we can have success – and our treasures must be in heaven, not on earth (Matthew 6:19-20).

*****

“I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people.” (pg 39)

So which are you? Are you naturally a worrier? Or are you naturally joyful? And why?

I used to believe I’m naturally a joyful person. And I do believe that happiness is a choice – at least generically speaking. However, as I mentioned above, I’ve felt a lot more pressure during these past 3 years, and I daresay I’m also a bit of a natural worrier. And my joy, while still there, sometimes takes more effort than it used to. I need to take very seriously the command in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

I’ve been very convicted recently about my complaining attitude, and the fact that I haven’t been “counting it all joy” (James 1:2). I hear about other people’s lives who are so burdened and full of strife, and wonder why I’m complaining about my own measly troubles. I know that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others – but in some regards, it does help to put my stress into perspective. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting a proverbial kick in the tail and the command to, “Buck up,” or “get over it.” And in a way, it is the message, “Get over yourself,” that does resonate. That’s part of the beauty of serving – at your church or anywhere really – in serving, you’re able to humble yourself and put life in perspective. You’re able to be a part of something larger than yourself and really get a taste of life to realize that it’s truly not about you.

“When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out about my life, my family, and my job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a “right” to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.” (pg 39)

Wow – that hit me like a ton of bricks. I know that I allow my stresses to consume me. And that’s not to say I’m stressed out about bad things – my biggest stress is balance and a desire to serve God and my family as He would have me serve. However, it’s my attitude that is convicting. I allow that desire to serve and balance my life to consume me in such a negative stressful way, that I don’t allow God to work in me. I need to give Him control, and more importantly, I need to bend to His will, instead of trying to serve on my own terms.

“The point of your life is to point to Him.” (pg 42)

Am I?

*****

“Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says that things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. [cut] Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.” (pg 40)

My mother in law’s favorite verse (or one of them) is Matthew 6:34 KJV, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” In other translations, “evil” is written as “worry.” But with those two different translations – I think it’s clear how worry can be viewed – it’s equated to evil!

The statements above from page 40 really made me think. I know that I worry, and I know that I stress. However, I didn’t ever think that I doubted God’s power or love. It was definitely an eye opening way to consider stress and worry.

A statement I felt really summarized the chapter well is, “It doesn’t really matter what place you find yourself in right now. Your part is to bring him glory.” It is, after all, completely about God.