I had two prevailing thoughts while reading chapter three:

1. I’m so very thankful for my father and for the Godly example he placed in my life.


2. Having children has enlightened me to a new side of God as Father than I’ve ever understood before.

For these gifts in my life, I’m grateful. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)

On page 52, Chan speaks of his relationship with his father, and how his relationship with God was largely impacted by his relationship with his father. I think that’s true with many people – if not most. I was fortunate to have not only a wonderful father, but a legacy full of Christian men and women who strove always to point their family and others around them to God. Jon’s family is very much the same way. We call it our “Legacy of Love” and our intent is to provide that same Christian legacy for our children.

Through my father, as well as my mother, grandparents, and now through Jon’s parents and family as well, I am able to see God’s love and mercy reflected. “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12) I’ve been so uplifted, encouraged, and filled by the reflection of God I’ve seen through my parents and family – imagine how much more love and mercy God in His perfection provides!

After describing his relationship with his father, on page 53 Chan goes into a description of the love he came to know as a parent once he had children. He concludes the illustration of his love for his children by saying, “I am just an earthly, sinful father, and I love my kids so much it hurts. How could I not trust a heavenly, perfect Father who loves me infinitely more than I will ever love my kids.” (pg 53)

I found myself asking the questions: Do we show God the same enthusiasm our kids show us as we return home from work? Running to us eagerly, throwing themselves on us for hugs and kisses? Is God as excited to see us as we are to see our kids? Do our faces shine towards God with the same love and admiration that our kids shine on us? Is God heart-sick with missing His kids when they’re apart?

We’re told that we’ve been created in God’s image: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27). That being the case, my conclusion is a resounding YES! God IS as excited to see us as we are to see our kids – and probably even more. And God IS heart-sick with missing His kids when we are not close to him – even more so than our feelings towards our children. I think it’s beautiful how He’s given us little glimpses of Himself – in illustrative points that we can grasp with our minds. I’m not God, therefore I’ll never understand Him perfectly – but I am a parent, and I understand deeply how much I love my kids. And the love is an astounding love – one that I knew would be great, but never imagined just how powerful until my first little bundle was placed in my arms. It’s indescribable…yet a perfect illustration of God’s love for me.

During the past few weeks I’ve been reading both “Crazy Love” and “Seeking Him,” the latter being a Bible Study I’m doing at church on Monday nights. There are two very similar statements made in both books – both of which I really struggled to grasp.

Crazy Love, page 55 (speaking of his decision to spend a few days alone with God in the woods): “Before I left, a friend prayed, ‘God, I know how You’ve wanted this time with Francis…’ Though I didn’t say anything at the time, I secretly thought it was a heretical way to pray and that he was wrong to phrase it that way. I was going to the woods because I wanted more of God. But He’s God; He certainly wouldn’t want more of me! It seemed demeaning to think that God could long for a human being.”

Seeking Him, page 9: “That very desire [for God] is God-initiated. He wants you back! Why? Because He loves you and knows you cannot experience all He has for you in your present condition.” (ref. Hosea 11, Hosea 14)

Repetition is a good way for God to break through my cobwebs and make a point. The point that my desire for God was something that HE gave me was new to me. And hard for me to grasp. I always thought it was me who had to decide to turn to Him. And while it is something I need to do (we do, afterall, have free will), the desire to turn to Him comes from Him.

I tend to be a self-deprecating person, and the whole “It’s not about me” thought is something I can very easily grasp, but also take that idea to extremes. While it’s NOT all about me, and it IS all about God, that doesn’t mean I’m not important. It doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love me. Quite the opposite. I’m so important to God (as are all of you), that He has called us to be His inheritance (Eph 1:18). That’s just not a blessing you give to someone you don’t love!

Once again, I turned to my relationship with my children as a way to help me grasp this point. Again, I was thankful to God for giving me a way to understand in some concrete way just how much He loves me.

Before having kids, Jon and I talked often about how we wanted to make sure that our kids don’t believe that the world revolves around them (they still do, they are human after all). We talked about not giving them everything they want, not changing our lives completely to accommodate theirs, setting rules, setting boundaries, disciplining them – you know – all those things that make us “mean parents” (or one day will). Yet, despite all these “restrictions” we put on our children, they’re absolutely the most important things in our lives (after God and each other, of course). Our restrictions are in place BECAUSE we love them, BECAUSE we want the best for them, BECAUSE they’re so incredibly important…yet, it’s NOT all about them. That comparison literally hit me today – and it was like a light opened up and I went, “Oh yeah! I get it now! Thank you God!” Humbling.

Not only does God love us know, but he knew us before we were born. We were planned. We’re here for a purpose; we’re here for God’s purpose. Jeremiah 1:5 is such a familiar verse, but a much loved one as well, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.”

Wouldn’t you know, I have a story to go with that as well.

When I was ready for college, my parents gave me the savings bonds they’d been collecting throughout my life. Every birthday and every Christmas, I was given a savings bond by my parents and my Grandparents (they alternated – one had birthday and one had Christmas). Growing up, I’d open them, gush thanks pretending I knew just how valuable they were, then move onto the presents containing toys or the things that I really wanted. (Oh what an example that is, too – who knows what’s best for us?)

On the brink of adulthood, I fingered through all the savings bonds my parents had held for me all those years. I got to the first and earliest one. It was dated September 1975. I was born in October. I remember blinking back tears as I discovered that bond dated just a month before my arrival. I remember feeling so loved, so cherished, so wanted. And that’s how my earthly parents made me feel – imagine just how much longer my heavenly Father planned for my arrival, and how much he loves, cherishes, and wants me.

I’ll close with the verse I shared above: “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12). I’m SO thankful for the beautiful reflection of God I’ve been shown throughout my life. So very grateful. I pray that I can reflect God in the same way to my children as I was blessed to see Him throughout my life. And I’m SO thankful that one day I’ll know fully just how great and wonderful God’s love is for me.